With the start of the new school year, I think it’s time to reflect on the integral role that mozz sticks play in practically every college student’s life. They’re just as loyal and comforting as any best friend and are guaranteed to make you feel warm and fuzzy (and maybe slightly nauseous) no matter how bad your day has been.
Forget French fries and onion rings — mozz sticks will forever be the reigning late night snack in our hearts. So here’s to you, you glorious fried piece of cheese. And thanks for being there for us in all of these situations.
1. When you just bombed a test.
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And you’re wondering if it would really be that bad to live in your parent’s basement.
2. When it’s 1 am on a Saturday.
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And you only stayed at the party for half an hour before sprinting to the dining hall because the urge for fried food was too strong.
3. When it’s 1 am on a Sunday.
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And you’re the only sober person in the dining hall because you have a midterm on Monday.
4. When your friends went to dinner without you.
So you’re left to fend for yourself in the zoo that is the dining hall because you needed to finish your Netflix binge.
5. When your mom forgot to book your Thanksgiving flights.
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So you’re the only person on campus for five days and have no idea how to make yourself a turkey.
6. When it’s miserably cold outside.
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And you need to keep your hands warm on the long walk to the library.
7. When all your roommates have “overnight guests.”
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But at least you get to spend some quality time with your one true love.
8. When you just need a melty, cheesy friend.
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We know who’s there for you.