Food has always been a main focus around events and conversation. To keep entertaining the food scene, various trends emerged throughout the years, but some of these recent trends need to go back to the kitchen they came from. Here’s a list of eight trends that need to end now.

1. Rainbow Food

Photo by Hana Brannigan

I don’t know when or why the unicorn diet started, but it needs to end. It seems like people were so conscious about not using any additive food dyes or the dreaded “yellow 5,” but suddenly it’s trendy to possibly poop out like rainbow. What bothers me the most is that these added dyes take away from the true colors and benefits of fruit, diminishing the perfect violet from a blueberry or bright orange-yellow from a peach. Let’s keep the colors to nature, not food dye.

2. Mason Jars

Photo by Hana Brannigan

Can I eat like a normal human on a goddamn plate, please? I get the cute aesthetic of a layered parfait or dessert, but a salad and sushi?! I don’t want to eat one topping at a time. I need that room to mix up my greens and get a bite of everything at once.

3. Themed Restaurants

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3 words: poop-themed restaurant. Just stop.

4. Speed Cooking Videos

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Everyone knows a proper lasagna should not take 10 seconds. These misleading videos simplify some of the best parts to making food, and they make things look way too easy.

5. Cheese in EVERYTHING

Photo by Hana Brannigan

I honestly wonder if the dairy industry has a secret investment in Tasty videos. It is possible to have a meal that does not have cheese in it. While I do love cheese, especially when paired with charcuterie, fruit and a nice glass of Riesling, it is possible to have a meal without cheese.

6. Organic Everything

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There is a huge trend towards anti-GMO and organic everything. Don’t get me wrong, I think there is nothing better than an organic farmer’s heirloom tomato in the summer, but there is a purpose for GMO food. It helps feed the world. If you don’t want to eat it, fine, but there is plenty of science that supports their nutritional benefits.

7. Going Gluten-Free

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Gluten is not the enemy (unless you have a medical condition or sensitivity). Most people associate eating gluten-free as a way to lose weight, but overall diet change is the way to accomplish that. Gluten has high levels of protein, iron and nutrients with low levels of fat. You can read more about gluten here.

8. Pressed juice diets

Photo by Anna Hsu

Eat your food, don’t drink it. While this diet is known to shed some pounds, it also sheds important fiber, vitamins, nutrients and dignity. Go get yourself a slice of pizza, you deserve it.

Author’s Note: This article was written satirically. While I do believe these things should end, no feelings are intended to be harmed.