Two of the most important things my grandmother taught me are how to cook amazing dishes (like this delicious dish that’s part of our heritage) and to always enjoy the hell out of them.

She taught me to care about my body and what I put in it, but she also emphasized that life’s too short to always be concerned about calories. Here’s a list of times she taught me that calories don’t exist (plus a few that I made up).

It doesn’t have any calories if…

You’re sharing it with someone else.


Photo by Mark Hoang

Set the scene: you’re at a dinner party and there are these delicious looking cookies but you don’t want to eat 4 entire cookies by yourself. What do you do? Split them with your friend. If you split them, no calories. Feel free to split every single flavor on the table.

You’re tired.


Photo by Jackie Decoster

You’re still in the library at 2 am because it’s finals week and college is hard. All you want is a freshly-baked Einstein’s bagel with TONS of cream cheese but you feel bad because you already ate 3 meals today. Well – you’re in luck. If you’re tired, no calories. (According to this USA Today article this might not be the best idea, but once in a while…)

You have a big exam coming up.


Photo by Kirby Bath

Milkshakes and studying simply go together. If you’re going to put as much stress as cramming for an exam on your body, you gotta find some comfort food. These foods might even lower your stress levels.

You got it as a gift.


Photo by Alma Wang

It’s Valentine’s Day and your boyfriend/girlfriend/friend/mom/dad/secret admirer sent you a whole box of chocolates. You try to keep yourself from eating the whole box in one sitting but they are just so good and FREE. It would be rude to keep from eating them because of their caloric content so… No calories.

You’re hungover.


Photo By Peter Biondi

It’s Sunday and you have a lot of homework to do but all you want to do is lay in your bed and make weird noises and complain. You know the cure is a nice, greasy meal but you are worried about doing even more damage to your body but… it’s okay. No calories this time.

You’re drunk.


Photo by Jessica Cary

You went out, had some drinks, got a little too drunk and devoured an entire pizza by yourself? It’s okay. If you don’t remember, it didn’t happen. You might want to take this quiz in order to find out what your go to drunk food is.

Your friends are drunk.


Photo by Eunice Choi

You did the responsible thing and DDed but when you pick up your best friend from the bar, she wants Taco Bell. You know Taco Bell is terrible for you but she’s very persuasive when she drinks and there’s just something about a good potato taco. As a reward for being a great, responsible, caring friend, Taco Bell suddenly became calorie-free.

To learn about counting calories, or actual no calorie or low-calorie foods, check out these awesome articles: