The time is now, the thing we’ve been waiting for since before J-term, the new Starbucks on Maple Street. Wanna know what could be better than a brand new opening of one of the most basic coffee places in the world? It’s when two awesome Spoons go there an hour early to scope it out for the campus. So, please, sit down with your Iced Caramel Macchiato and relive our fangirling over the (newest) most popular place on campus.
- It’s 5 am.
- What am I doing with my life. Oh yeah, I’m going to the Starbucks opening.
- Of all the things to wake up for, coffee just might be worth it.
- Wow, Campus is completely deserted. This is so surreal.
- If I got murdered for a latte, I would probably die of embarrassment.
Photo by Ryan Terhune
- Why hello beautiful, you look utterly radiant this morning.
- *takes photo*
- …Nope.
- *takes another photo*
- Wow I feel like the barista paparazzi.
Photo by Ryan Terhune
- What am I doing with my life.
- 6:10 am: (fellow spoon) Spectacular Sarah arrives.
- “I had to put my face on, sorry I’m late.”
- Update: the Manager politely informed me I cannot take photos of the interior.
- *aggressively photographs exterior*
- 6:30 am: Can you upvote my Starbucks yak?
Photo by Ryan Terhune ft. Sarah Schlabig
- 6:40 am: OTHER PEOPLE FINALLY SHOW UP!!!
- “Hi I’m Ryan. As in Ryan Reynolds.” “Omg Ryan stop.”
- Ryan: “What’s the most pretentious drink I could order?” “Something with soy?” “LOL I’m actually allergic to dairy, so like, y soy un lactose intolerant…?”
- I want a mug! Can I pay with meal plan?
- Confirmed: they accept meal plan.
- Ryan is lame and does not drink Starbucks, so he took this quiz to pair him with the latte of his dreams.
- He got iced mocha and is currently having an existential crisis.
- 7 am: Opening time.
- ohmigodohmigod they’re unlocking the door.
- The time is here. The wait is over.
- Ryan: “I’m jiggity jazzed.”
- Ok wow we’re inside and its super gorgeous.
- SPOON IS FIRST IN LINE. #history.
- Ryan orders a venti: “bwahaha mine’s bigger than yours.”
- Update: it’s a venti butterscotch latte, Ryan’s officially lost control of his life.
- We also ordered some bomb breakfast sandwiches.
- Spicy chorizo, egg, and Monterrey Jack: “certified dank.”
- Bacon, egg, and Gouda “It’s delish…. but like, not Delish if you know what I mean.”
- They spelled our names right (score).
- Interesting note: apparently this café was designed by a Miami University architect, as opposed to a Starbucks© artist. I didn’t know they allowed that!
- Dining services also kept the Patisserie’s (RIP) original floor and ceiling, but renovated the rest. It’s tres posh. Get over here.
- Ryan followed through and bought a mug, 10/10 would recommend.
Photo by Ryan Terhune ft. Sarah Schlabig
- We spent over 20 minutes fussing over our obligatory Instagram announcement.
- We met the manager! His name is Grant and he’d like to personally invite you for a coffee. We promised we would pass on the message: don’t let us down.
- P.S. Tell him Spoon U sent ya!
- “Sarah, you have sandwich in your hair.”
- Have you noticed Shiba Inus are latte colored? Wait… Or are lattes Shiba Inu colored? Can I get a venti doge?
Photo by Ryan Terhune
- “One small sip for Sarah… One giant gulp for Miami foodies”
- Ooops, all the syrup’s stuck to the bottom of the cup…
- Yeah that’s gonna go from 0 to candy bar real quick.
- Ryan: Hey kids, they sell french presses here so… shameless plug.
- Sarah: “I can’t say how the coffee compares to uptown Starbucks, however the on-campus convenience is dangerously addictive.”
- Waiting for the squads of basic besties claim this spot as their own.
- 8:10 am: Sarah: “Oh crap, I have class in 20 minutes”
- Finishing a coffee is bittersweet: your post all-nighter zombie hangover fog has cleared, but now your faced with the melancholy of an empty cup.
- Wow now I have to go to the bathroom.
Photo by Ryan Terhune
- I almost forgot, it’s Monday morning. Bummer.
- I’ve been here for over 3 hours.
- …What am I doing with my life?
- Oh yeah, I’m doing Spoon. Ok, I can live with that.