1. Start with an overly complicated idea

I can bake. Give me some butter and sugar to whip to perfection, a little gluten to fold in, and my precious Kitchen Aid mixer, and I’ll return you the dessert of your desire.

But if I’m Ferris Buller and my oven is the Ferrari then my stove is Principal Rooney, trying to kill all of my fun.

I’m fully aware of my weakness when it comes to anything stove related, so the idea of cooking up a Swiss Meringue Buttercream, which is more like a grueling chemistry experiment than a frosting, is just absurd.

cooking fail

Photo by Alexandria Nickens

However, in the spirit of Dali, I could not let the ambitious nature of the task deter me. If he could comment on the nature of time, the Theory of Relativity, and his own childhood all in one painting, then surely I could make a measly frosting.

2. Fight the establishment

Dali was supposedly all about that anarchist life, and I’m pretty sure anarchists don’t follow recipes. So when the recipe insisted that I absolutely must use a candy thermometer to ensure my SMB turned out just right, I threw it on the ground.

cooking fail

Photo by Alexandria Nickens

Or accidently dropped it so that it was no longer useable.

cooking fail

Photo by Alexandria Nickens

Anyway, guesstimation is obviously much better than being precise when it comes to cooking.

3. Make sure it doesn’t look like its supposed to

So then I actually embarked on my journey to create my SMB. However, I couldn’t ACTUALLY make SMB. That wouldn’t be surrealism. That would just be realism, a big Dali no-no.

So why should my buttercream HAVE to be thick and frosting like? In Dali’s world, clocks melt, so I figured my buttercream should be liquefied as well.

cooking fail

Photo by Alexandria Nickens

4. Then use it again and again and again

My liquid buttercream was the epitome of a surrealist image. So I couldn’t use it just once. Dali sure wouldn’t.

Inspired by Dali’s “Skulls Three Ways” (aka “The Visage of War”), I decided to create “Buttercream Three Ways.”

cooking fail

Photo by Alexandria Nickens

First, I used my SMB to fill the cupcake. Then, I drizzled it on top of some mascarpone frosting. However, I couldn’t stop there (and not just because the drizzled SMB kind of looked like fake blood).

So finally I mixed the liquid SMB with the rest of the mascarpone frosting to create a hybrid frosting to top it all off. And with that, my surrealist masterpiece was complete.

cooking fail

Gif by Alexandria Nickens

5. Bask in the glory of your creation

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Dali earned international recognition and critical acclaim. I earned a happy belly and a few thanks from friends. All in all, I would call it equal.

cooking fail

Photo by Alexandria Nickens