Dating in college is often a way to experiment. You find out what kind of person you definitely don’t want to be with, as well as the kind of person you could end up with forever. To do this, though, dabbling in the different personalities and lifestyles of others is necessary.

Eating in college is a lot like dating. Mom and her cooking aren’t around, so you’re forced to branch out and try new things, which I know isn’t always successful (particularly when you’re hammered at 3 AM). Other times, you stop by a hole-in-the-wall Indian restaurant and fall in love.


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February 14th is approaching quickly, and you all know it’s been no fun cuddling by yourself this winter. So guys, if you need a little help choosing what kind of girl would fit you best, why not pick them based on the food they represent? As the saying goes, “you eat with your eyes first.”

1. The All-Star


Photo by Robert Wehrli

The all-star ranges from the girl who lifts to the marathon runner to the girl who could probably run circles around you in a game of soccer. In other words, the badass burrito.

She can show up looking like a million bucks, or like a perfect little package. One bite in, though, and you find out she’s down to get messy and, quite frankly, hard to keep wrapped up. It takes one hell of a man to finish one of these monstrosities from a place like Burrito Boarder, and it’ll take the same courage and stamina to keep up with the all-star.

2. The Over-Achiever


Photo by Kevin Del Orbe

She goes to school full-time, works two jobs, is the president of her sorority, the vice-president of SGA, yet she finds time for the gym and she also volunteers at the local animal shelter three times a week. What else is quick, yet healthy enough for an over-achiever’s standards, than an everything bagel with veggie cream cheese?

She’s all the good stuff piled into one. Stumbling upon an over-achiever is like accidentally winning the lottery. She’s intelligent, pretty, witty, and a health-nut all at the same time. She’s the perfect thing to wake up to, just like a perfectly toasted everything bagel from Einstein’s.

3. The Sorority Girl


Photo by Taylor Lashley

No explanation needed for who this girl is. She will no doubt be wearing her letters whether it’s on her shirt, her backpack, or her car (or all three). You’ll know what sorority she’s in before you even know her name.

Like our favorite cold treat, frozen yogurt, each sorority girl might start out seeming basic—but get to know her for more than 24 hours and you’ll notice that each one has their own set of preferences and toppings. She can get all dressed up and be over-the-top delicious and rich, or she can hold all the toppings and be the perfect accompaniment to a night of Netflix and chill.

4. The Stoner


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She rocks a beanie and a tie-dye sweatshirt while carrying eye-drops in her over-the-shoulder Boho bag—she’s the beloved stoner chick. She can never decide what kind she wants, yet she constantly craves pizza. So what does she do? She makes a pizza cake.

It has been tested and proven that the THC in weed heightens your sensitivity to smells and tastes. So, the ridiculousness of the pizza cake is what makes it perfect for the stoner girl. Her indecisiveness often results in the creation of something monumental. Even though you may have to remind her what she was talking about once or twice, Miss Mary Jane is sure to blow your mind.

5. The Brainiac


Photo by Robert Wehrli

The brainiac isn’t just the girl with a 4.0. She’s the girl with a 4.0 whose schedule reads Biochemistry, Molecular Biology, Immunology, and Chemical Hydrology. Like the raw seafood in sushi, she can come off a little intimidating to some. Once you try a piece, though, it’s hard to resist the complexity and layers of flavors that come with each bite.

In a world where college kids are mostly concerned about their technology and getting everything done (including eating) in the quickest way possible, the brainiac is a breath of fresh air. In the same way it takes great patience to create a perfect roll of sushi, it takes time and dedication to form a lasting relationship with the brainiac.

Don’t let the big day pass you by with no cuddle buddy to share it with. Get hungry and go find your perfect girl.