Lifestyle

25 Signs You’re in a Romantic Relationship With Hummus

By Santina Renzi at University of Pittsburgh

Does your heart skip a beat every time you dip a crisp carrot stick into a big tub of smooth, creamy, tangy hummus? You’re not alone.

Hummus is the heartthrob of our generation, stealing the hearts of people around the world in a whirlwind of olive oil and tahini. You probably find it hard to imagine a life without hummus, let alone a day without hummus.

Here are some signs that you and hummus have taken your relationship to the next level.

1. You have no shame for your love of hummus.

Your family, friends, teachers and bosses all know that you are madly in love with hummus—there’s no hiding something so beautiful and so true.

2. When you first looked at the gif above, all you saw was a chickpea with giant eyes and a tiny hat.

I love you too, chickpea.

3. It is not uncommon for you to consume an entire tub of hummus in one sitting.

You know that horrifying moment when you suddenly look down and realize all the hummus is gone all too well.

4. When you see a chickpea, all you see is untapped potential.

Why are you still a chickpea when you could be so much more?

5. You dream of hummus.

There just aren’t enough hours of daylight.

6. You know the statistics.

You know which brands have the most ounces of hummus per container for the best price, and you will gladly battle with anyone who challenges your knowledge.

7. The Sabra recall crushed you like a food processor crushes chickpeas.

8. It’s an open relationship—you’re always willing to try new flavors.

You have a lot of love and you just want to spread it around like you spread hummus on your sandwich. Or on your face.

9. You dip veggies in hummus.

Duh.

10. You dip pita in hummus.

Who doesn’t?

11. You dip chips in hummus.

Bring on the crisp.

12. You dip crackers in hummus.

DUH.

13. You dip chickpeas in hummus.

It’s like a family reunion.

14. You dip hummus in hummus.

Again, who doesn’t?

15. You hate hummus haters.

16. You write songs about hummus.

But you might not admit it to anyone—you’re a misunderstood artist for sure.

17. Hummus is the first thing on your mind every morning and last thing on your mind before you sleep.

Are you a track star? Because you’ve been running through my mind.

18. You’re totally cool with putting hummus on your face.

You know that what’s good for your soul has to be good for your skin, too.

19. If there is hummus at a party, your friends know not to disturb you.

They know you tend to get angry if someone interrupts your time with hummus. They don’t even think about asking you to share.

20. You usually bring the hummus to the parties, just to be safe.

What’s a party without hummus?

21. Your sweat smells like tahini.

You consume so much hummus that it clogs your pores and can only be released as deliciously-scented sweat.

22. You serenade your hummus before you eat it.

“Oh oh oh, sweet hummus of mine.”

23. You order hummus as your entire entrée at restaurants…

No shame.

24. Because you know hummus is a major food group.

Hummus is part of a complete balanced diet, kids.

 25. Every day at 11:11, on every birthday and at every wishing well you wish for the oceans to turn into hummus.

You’re pretty disappointed with your success rate so far, though. But you will never, ever stop wishing. Perseverance is key.

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