So clearly the Russians were on to something with the invention of vodka. While we commonly use it to turn up on the weekends, believe it or not, it has other purposes. There are a ton of things vodka is useful for. Here a few (other than throwing it back at da club).
1. Acts as an astringent
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Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face to cleanse and tighten your pores. Also, you could have this awesome moment afterwards.
2. Heals nasty blisters
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For you ladies still in your heels after 3 am, pour vodka over an open blister. It might burn like hell, but it’ll act as an anesthetic and also clean it.
3. Helps with fever symptoms
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Using a washcloth, rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment (like Vicks Vapor Rub).
Helpful Tip: Don’t have someone rub your back with a broom. It won’t help.
4. Eliminates sticker residue
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We know the pain is coming so we avoid it as long as possible. But if you soak your bandaid in vodka for a few minutes, the adhesive eventually dissolves for a painless pull.
5. Kills mold, mildew, and other bathroom germs
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Spray wherever it’s dirty and let the vodka soak in for a few minutes before wiping everything down. To whoever had to clean this mess, bless your heart.
6. Removes stubborn dandruff
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Mix one cup of vodka with two teaspoons of crushed rosemary. Strain it through a filter and gently massage it into your scalp. You can’t be hot in K-Pop without shiny, luscious hair.
7. Prolongs the life of a razor
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Soak your razor in a cup of vodka after a shave. It prevents it from rusting and also disinfects it so you can properly shave your back.
8. Preserves the life of plants
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Add a few drops to cut flowers or plants to extend their lifespan. Harry knows what’s up.
9. Treats a jellyfish sting
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An alternative to someone peeing on you, which is always nice.
10. Aids in an earache
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Put a few drops in your ear and then drain it to get rid of bacteria. Keep those ears poppin’.
11. Helps remove vomit stains
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Spray on the stain, scrub it off, and then blot dry. You might be vomiting one second, but in the next you’ll be dancing like Snoop once that stains comes right out.
12. Takes care of minor aches and pains
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For moments when you realize you can’t fly, take a mid-size jar, add lavender flowers, and a cup of vodka. Let the jar sit in the sun for three days before use, and rub on any of your ailments.
13. Kills bees and wasps while doubling as an insect repellant
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Put in a bottle and spray away. However, don’t channel your inner Oprah. You will get stung by a bee and die.
14. Gets rid of odor causing germs from clothes and furniture
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Works like Febreeze to get rid of stank (i.e. cigarette smoke) from a long night of partying.
15. Stops foot odor in its tracks
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A quick soak will have your feet smelling brand new. Also, you won’t give your cat a heart attack from a lil’ sniff job.
16. Helps with cold sores
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Unfortunately, sometimes it’s a cold sore, but don’t worry. Just apply a little vodka on a cotton swab and lightly dab the sore. It will eventually dry the sore right up so it can close.
17. Cleans your jewelry
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It’s an excellent watch and metal cleaner. You could have Larry King jealous of your bling… said no one ever.
18. Serves as a reusable ice pack
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On those days when your headache goes from 0-100, you can put 1/2 cup of water and a cup of vodka in a pack. Since vodka doesn’t freeze, it makes it more comfortable for wherever you put it on your body.
19. Doubles as Windex
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It has no odor, so it can be used to clean glass and mirrors. It also cleans fingerprints from a pesky little girl that can’t take a hint.
20. Removes pain from poison ivy
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It removes the urushiol oil (the chemical in the sap of the plant) from your skin. Raise your hand if that was the first time you heard urushiol.
21. Fixes a toothache
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Swish some around in your mouth for a few minutes, then spit and rinse. I bet your tooth is aching right now just looking at Uncle Buck with that drill.
Thank you potatoes and wheat, and thank you Russia. You have provided us another life hack. So let us do our part for global relations and use vodka in all the ways it was intended to be used. Nostrovia.
Feeling thirsty for some vodka now: