Going out to a bar always ensures odd encounters of a lot of different types of people. However, after a few too many drinks, it is possible you’ll slip your number to someone at some point, more often than not, to the worst types of people at the bar.
The next morning, along with your morning dose of painkillers to treat your raging headache, a regretful chill creeps down your spine as you unlock your phone to discover the awful, cringe-worthy texts you were sent. From potential new bffs to a new guy you’re really interested in — they’re all there. Several are fairly normal, while others are bizarre like Shakespeare quotes from “Billy on Bumble, a “hey u up?” from “Jack from some bar,” and an “omg thanks for the advice last night,” from “Jenny from the bathroom.”
Either way, no matter how innocent, here’s a list of some of the worst people to give your number to at a bar:
1. The bartender
The person that mixes and pours all of your drinks is also paid to be nice to you – and every other person at the bar, too. No matter how cute they are, remember that if you end up going out with them and the date goes sour, you might not want to head to their bar again. Which is a bummer, especially if it’s one of your favorite places to hang. Make nice with the bartender, but don’t reach personal levels, unless you’re feeling Miranda and Steve vibes from “Sex and the City.”
2. The “calls you right on the spot” guy
Conversation, dancing, drinking — it’s all going great. He insists that you give him your number, and even with very little interaction, you have decided that he seems at least semi-normal, so you give it to him. Seconds after you’ve dialed in your number, he calls you on the spot, only to ensure that the digits aren’t fake. This guy wants to make sure it’s real because he’s already hooked on you. Pretty good indicator you’ll receive copious amounts of texts throughout the night, following into the morning.
3. The crying drunk in the restroom
Every bar restroom is home to a crying drunk looking to make new friends. Hesitation sets in on whether or not you really need to check yourself in the mirror, or if it’s best to walk away as fast as possible. With compassion fueled by alcohol, you feel like it’s a good idea to comfort the cryer. This will take up most of your night, and because of your generosity, you’ll have made a new friend to pass your digits onto.
Expect an unruly amount of text messages, regarding, thanks, crying emojis, and complaints about a boy you don’t know. Who TF is Brad and what did he do this time?
4. The flashy guy
He gets your attention by having the bartender (luckily, not the one that has your number) send a pricey glass of wine over to you. You guys talk, only to find out how impressive he is, including how often he loves to flash his fancy new watch and talk about his flashy new boat. You give him your number because life tastes a lot better with expensive wine and on a yacht.
However, things will never progress from material possessions or his love for talking about him, only him, and more about him. Have fun watching him Snapchat his trips on private jets for the foreseeable future.
5. The frat guy
It’s inevitable. Where there’s a bar, there’s a frat boy. They’re always on and ready to have a good time. He’ll order Fireball shots for the both of you, and the six other bros he came with. As the drinks keep coming, you’ll start mistaking his childish manners as boyish charm, and think that exchanging numbers is a good idea. Yes, you’ll come to his faux Catalina Wine Mixer!
No matter how faint the memories of the night were, you’ll always wake up with a “come over” text that was sent around 3 am to remind you.
6. The gossip
There’s an obvious love/hate relationship when it comes to gossip. Regardless, when drinks start flowing all the dirt is unleashed, and through the gossip, a new friendship is formed. Sure you want to be in the know with your new friend, so you pass along your number. However, it becomes a little too much when you get continuous texts about Jennifer’s dating life and Carol’s wardrobe malfunction. Who even cares?
7. The know-it-all
You don’t notice it at first because he lets you get through each word of your conversation. It seems like he’s really listening, so you exchange numbers. However, as the night progresses, it becomes impossible to get through a sentence without the know-it-all interrupting with the phrase, “well actually.” Ugh, but he already has your number.
The texting won’t be any different and will mostly be reduced down to a correction-only basis.
8. The philosophical guy
He seems super intellectual — you’re impressed. But after you enjoy a couple craft beers together, you realize he has a lot of ideas he wants to share, like, A LOT. You fall into a daze where it looks like you’re listening, but you’re really not. When you snap back into your conversation, you realize he’s trying to tell you how each digit of your phone number is a reflection of you, because nothing is left up to chance, of course. Are we really here? Do these walls exist?
Yep, he’s going to keep sharing these ideas with you over text. Luckily, he “doesn’t believe in Snapchat,” so you don’t have to worry about him adding you there. Actually, he doesn’t have any social media so delete his number and you’ll never see him again.
9. The stage 5 clinger
Stage 5 clingers can strike at any moment, but you won’t know it until it’s too late. You meet each other’s friends, learn about their family, and even share pictures of each other’s dogs. They’re completely normal — until you wake up in the morning with 13 unread messages varying from “Hey,” “Is everything kk?” and “Ayyeeee,” all the way to planning the next two dates. Wow! Sorry guy, it’s not going to work.
10. The walking gym
He’s super good looking, but kind of makes you wish you’d hit the gym more often. He radiates confidence and his good looks distract you from the insane number of times he’s looking at his reflection in any and all nearby shiny surfaces.
The number exchange was only a great idea if you constantly want to hear about his gym plan and mind-numbing meal prep. But hey, maybe you don’t hate the shirtless gym selfies.
11. The watcher
You’re browsing the bar when he approaches you and tells you that you’ve caught his eye. While charming at first, you begin to talk and exchange numbers, and eventually, go your separate ways. Two hours later, you’re back at the bar and you notice that he’s still watching. As the night continues, you kind of wonder if he will ever actually look away. Expect a “How was your night? Looks like you had fun…” text the following morning. Um, what?
Though most, if not all of these text-ual encounters were regretful, I’ve learned a valuable lesson: Cap your drinking when you hit tipsy if there’s any intention of handing out your number.