Bruff is a one-of-a-kind dining hall. For some, it’s a sacred ritual practiced everyday. For others, it’s the crazy aunt you visit twice a year just to please your parents. Being that it’s the only dining hall on Tulane’s campus, things can get wild. By wild, we mean eating a sh*t ton of carbs, running into your ex, and never finding a table to sit at. Here are some thoughts that may go through your mind during a typical Bruff experience:
1. I’m starving.
2. *taps card*
3. “Thanks baby”
4. Ugh she called me baby. I love that.
5. Okay…let’s see what’s for lunch today.
6. OMG. It’s milkshake Monday.
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7. Wow –emphasis on the milk. Not much shake.
8. To sandwich or not to sandwich?
9. Had one yesterday. I’d rather not.
10. Salad?
11. Is that even lettuce? Or…
12. Ugh.
13. I wish I could be that healthy.
14. Look at those girls wearing athletic clothes on the salad bar line.
15. I bet they want people to think they just came from the gym.
16. They definitely didn’t.
17. Either way, it works. They look pretty athletic to me.
18. Meanwhile, I look like a slob that just rolled out of bed.
19. So…salad?
20. Nope, not today.
21. I’ll get one tomorrow.
22. I swear!!
23. Soup?
24. Nah, it’s too hot out. I want real food.
25. Okay….how about a nice bruff burger?
26. The guy making them is doing a fantastic job.
27. Didn’t I see him at happy hour that one time?
28. Anyway, back to that burger.
29. It’s going to take soooo long.
30. I can’t wait.
31. Pizza time!
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32. Ugh, pizza.
33. No.
34. I can’t.
35. Healthy.
36. Must.
37. Be.
38. Healthy.
39. Oh sh*t.
40. OH SH*T.
41. There’s the creepy kid from the Palms on Friday.
42. Look AWAY.
43. CODE RED.
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44. *looks at phone*
45. Phew, he passed.
46. That was a close one.
47. I regret Friday nights because they make Mondays at Bruff so awkward.
48. Okay, it’s been 10 minutes. You still have not had a bite of food.
49. Cereal it is.
50. Where the F*CK are the bowls
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51. *leaves to go digest lunch and returns a few hours later*
52. Wouldya look at that, I’m back again for dinner.
53. I definitely did not need unlimited swipes like last semester, 15 is more than enough
54. *taps splash card*
55. *has 2 swipes left*
56. Uhhh…
57. I should probably be healthy at this meal.
58. Lemme put some greens on this plate.
59. More like browns…
60. How does the meat look?
61. Is it pork or steak?
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62. I honestly can’t tell.
63. Very well done, my favorite…
64. “Can I have one more slice?”
65. *gets a slice a third the size of the others accompanied by a dirty look*
66. “Thank you so much. Have a nice day!”
67. “You’re welcome baby.”
68. “Hi, are those chicken nuggets?”
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69. “No, it’s the catch of the day.”
70. AGAIN??????
71. From what body of water?
72. Straight from that huge puddle that collects after a rain in between the Boot and Greenbaum?
73. I’m kinda feeling some yogurt.
74. No bowls in sight, shocker!
75. What about berries?
76. Out of berries, cantaloupe it is!
77. That cantaloupe is whiter than Vineyard Vines.
78. What about a Satsuma?
79. WTF is a Satsuma?
80. F*ck fruit. Where are the carbohydrates?
81. Thankful for you everyday, pasta bar.
82. Can I have pasta for every meal?
83. No seriously, enough of that baked ziti sh*t.
84. Or do I want pho?
85. How is that even pronounced?
86. Is it fuh, foo, foh?
87. The soup is cold.
88. Like my heart.
89. And the temperature in the room.
90. Why am I eating this?
91. Peanut butter and jelly snacker?
92. That sounds…interesting
93. Wait, this is good.
94. Oh my god.
95. Why is there a grape in this?
96. Ok but in all honesty, the pita chips and hummus are exceptional.
97. Should I go for the cookie?
98. ALWAYS go for the cookie.
99. Bruff cookies, you have my heart.
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100. I could eat 5 more.
101. Ooops. I just did.
102. How late is Reily open?
103. ‘Til next meal, Bruff.