The French have their wine, cheese and bread game on lock, but their taste in some other key categories is definitely questionable.
1. Milk
Photo by Julia Murphy
We have that in America, not that weird, right? Wrong. All the milk au supermarché is left unrefrigerated. French milk is shelf-stable until the silver seal is broken at home. It tastes normal, but something about room-temp milk makes my stomach curdle.
2. Crab Sticks
In boxes of twelve sticks, the soft shell faux crab found in California rolls can be bought at any grocery store. They taste fine, but I prefer my fake seafood cozied up with avocado and wrapped in sticky rice.
3. Goose Fat
Photo by Julia Murphy
If the whole conversion process of those twice-daily croissants from buttery goodness into body fat is just too much to trouble with, don’t fret. Directly ingesting the fat of another animal will have you back to being besties with the Freshman 15 in no time.
4. American Sauce
Photo by Julia Murphy
Subtle, France. At least we gave you a vinaigrette so you could stay classy. We just get a sauce colored a troubling orange. I’d love to know what flavor this is supposed to be…
5. La Mousse de Canard
Photo by Julia Murphy
More puréed poultry. This canned liver paté is usually spread on toast and has appeared many a time on the table of my French host family. In a country with so much mousse au chocolat, all mousses are not created equal.
6. Cheeseburger Chips
Photo by Julia Murphy
Honestly, they weren’t that bad. There’s not so much of a meaty aroma as a ketchup-mustard-and-pickles flavor. They also come conveniently in steak and Poulet-Roti flavors.
7. Mint Syrup
Photo by Julia Murphy
Mint syrup in a bottle mixes with sparkling water to taste like a liquid wintergreen mint. I wouldn’t suggest drinking it plain, though, unless you’re into the taste of Listerine.
Here came the turning point in my grocery store excursion. American grocery stores should definitely take note on the following finds.
8. Pre-made Crème Brûlée
Photo by Julia Murphy
Seriously good. The packet of “brûlée” you sprinkle on top was a bit off-putting at first and looked nothing like the picture, but the collapsible baby spoon and delicious crème more than made up for it.
9. Mars Milk
Photo by Julia Murphy
This candy bar flavored milkshake was like chocolate milk on steroids. I have yet to try the Snickers flavor, but my expectations are high.
10. Speculoos
Photo by Julia Murphy
Could Trader Joe’s cookie butter get any better? Europe has done the impossible. This spread made of ginger and shortbread hybrid cookie is the real deal. I would literally put this on anything. Maybe even hamburger chips.