As you know the Holidays are prime time for eating, cooking and baking. I hate to break it to you, but just because everyone is in the spirit to make food does not mean that each dish is created equally. Some Christmas foods are just the worst. And they need to go. Or be replaced.
Brussels Sprouts
Photo by Kimberly Chang-Haines
First of all, how many of you have been saying/spelling this the wrong way? Great, me too. Now I get that we need a “vegetable” on the table for “balance” but why can’t we just agree that these green nuggets are not the way to go. Try this recipe instead for an easy delish alternative.
Cheeseballs
Photo courtesy of flickr.com
I never want my cheese in a ball. I want it sliced and diced. This is just not natural and it is so unnecessary. Why mess with perfection? Make your cheese plate Instagram-worthy with these tips.
Chestnuts
Photo courtesy of cookbookman17 on flickr.com
I am a huge fan of nuts — peanuts, pecans, walnuts, almonds and Brazil nuts to name a few. This guy just doesn’t make the cut. Yeah, you need to crack em open with a fancy contraption, but what about the end product? All that work for a bland nut? Meh.
Eggnog
Photo courtesy of flickr.com
Basically, it’s like someone spit into my milk. No thanks.
Figgy Pudding & This Jello Thing
Photo courtesy of dailymail.co.uk
I like figs, and I like pudding. I don’t like figgy pudding. Granted, I have only had it once. But I think once was more than enough. Also, what was this weird jello thing? Glad this got phased out. Replace it with this recipe for Candy Cane Jello Shots. Because you can.
Flavored Popcorn
Photo by Alex Furuya
I have received these giant (overpriced) tins filled with caramel corns and cocoa dusted popcorn, but if it’s not chocolate it’s not a gift. It’s also sad when you open it up as if you were gonna eat it, but then you forget about it and the kernels get stale. It’s like… Why did I try anyway? Instead, just pop some when you feel like it and pimp it with these tips.
Fruitcake
Photo courtesy of wikipedia.org
Please see figgy pudding. Fruit is good, a cake is good. Fruit cake? I’ll pass. Now THIS is a fruit cake I can get behind.
Gingerbread House
Photo courtesy of commons.wikimedia.com
When it comes to gingerbread I like the taste. My issue is the execution. I never understood it, are you supposed to make the house then tear it apart and eat it? Like one button at a time or all at once? Ditch the house altogether and make these instead.
Store Bought Sugar Cookies
Photo courtesy of unspohisticook.com
Sugar Cookies are the creme de la creme of Christmas time. But if I’m gonna eat a Christmas cookie you better have slaved over that stove yourself and tried really hard to make that royal icing stick. People who buy sugar cookies? You are what is wrong with the world. Or you’re just lazy. Which is why we have this super easy recipe for you.
Watergate Salad
Photo courtesy of spicysouthernkitchen.com
This is not a salad. I don’t see any leafy greens? Where is the kale? I’m so confused. Why can’t I just eat a salad? If you insist on having some sort of sweet mush at the table make this recipe instead.