Nothing secures your basic b*tch status faster than ordering a vodka cran at any bar or, god forbid, restaurant. The request itself screams “I’m underage and usually get my alc from frats!”, which is not a good look. That being said, we’ve all been there in the moment of panic when the bartender points to you and you have approximately two seconds to blurt out your order lest he move on to the next sweaty bar-goer.

Sometimes “vodka cran!” is the only thing you can even muster, and that was okay - until now. I’m here to help you take advantage of that short ordering window and officially secure your #coolgirl status with these 6 drinks that can be made at literally any dive bar.

1)  GreyHound

This drink is perfect for those who don’t want to stray too far from their precious vodka crans, but still want to sound like they know what the f*ck they’re doing. A Greyhound is a mix of vodka (or gin, or tequila) and grapefruit juice, ideal because you don’t get the overly sweet flavor of many other mixed drinks. One is delicious, two are delightful, but any more than three and you may end up feeling like you got hit by the bus it’s named for. 

2) Screwdriver

Think of this one as Brunch 2.0- A screwdriver says “I’m not messing around” with its mixture of vodka and orange juice. Order one of these when you want to be drunk but don’t want taste alcohol (we’ve all been there) because the orange juice perfectly masks the burn of cheap liquor. All things aside, the name is totally badass and a fun thing to shout at a bartender. 

3) Moscow Mule

My personal bae, this drink is perfect for all occasions with its refreshingly spicy mixture of ginger beer and vodka. If you’ve ever seen a drink served in a copper mug, it was this bad boy. But, lets be real, at the places you’re ordering a Mule, it’s going to be handed to you in a plastic cup- not as cute, but still damn delicious.

4) Mind Eraser 

Like an after-dinner coffee that gets you fast-tracked to Blackout City, this drink is perfect for those nights when you just didn’t pregame enough. Composed of Kahlua Rum, Vodka and club soda, the last thing you’ll remember is how good it tasted, and how bad*ss you sounded ordering it.

5) Boilmaker

Equal parts “crack open a cold one with the boys” and “get turnt”, the Boilermaker is literally beer with a shot in it. Order this when you want your formal date to think you can hang and to get a nod of solidarity from the bartender. 

6) Amaretto Sour

If beer isn’t your thing, I’ve got one last sweet one for you. A mix of amaretto liquor and sweet and sour mix, this drink goes down more smoothly than a Dirty Shirley. (Because lets be real, who takes themselves seriously when ordering a Dirty Shirley?) The bonus is the cute little cherry it’s usually garnished with, so you get your buzz and a snack too.

Now repeat those drink names back to me...

I beg you, either tattoo the names of these drinks on your brain or literally write them on your hand when you go out so you don’t ever have to suffer a “vodka cran” moment again. But, hey, if you’re actually craving the tart refreshing taste that is a vodka cranberry, ask your bartender for a Cape Cod. You get exactly what your basic heart desires, but you still sound like you know your shit, and isn’t that what it’s all about?