Your first year at Pitt can be categorized by a few staple things: answering to an RA, not knowing to take the elevator to the third floor of Cathy, eating sober Sorrento’s, and of course, making the dreaded nightly trip to Market Central. Market Central is located in the heart of Litchfield Towers, Pitt’s main freshman residence hall.
Nearly every Pitt student has a love/hate relationship with “Market.” Its buffet-style set up of pasta, stir-fry, omelets, wraps, and daily specialty items is endearing for about twenty-five minutes. Once you realize that you, like any sane human being, cannot live off of the same bacon and cheese omelet with a side of french fries for more than a few weeks, your view on Market will change completely. You will begin to see the once-loved Market as a bleak, hollow black hole of unfulfilling dinners and barely fulfilling Sunday brunches.
As a resident junior at Pitt with a self-proclaimed knowledge of all things edible, I have taken it upon myself to revolutionize the Market experience. A simple remixing of basic Market items presents brand new dinners and lunches that you would’ve never thought possible in this no-man’s-land of Sodexo enterprises. The information that I am about to divulge is imperative to your continued sanity at Pitt, so pay close attention, my friends.
1) The “Ring The Alarm” Chicken Parm
1 chicken patty from Flying Star Diner
A solid amount of marinara sauce from Bella Trattoria (I filled a bowl)
1 or 2 slices of provolone cheese from the wrap bar at Basic Kneads
With the chicken patty on a plate, spoon some marinara sauce onto it. Take either one or two slices of provolone cheese (depending how cheesy you’re willing to get) and place it carefully on top of the sauced patty. Put the entire thing into the microwave next to Bella Trattoria and let it cook for about 20 seconds. Remove from the microwave, and devour. Bon appétit!
2) The “Bitch, Please” Mac n’ Cheese Grilled Cheese
1 grilled cheese from Flying Star Diner
About one bowl of mac n’ cheese from wherever you can find it (may the odds be ever in your favor)
This creation is slightly more tricky, since mac n’ cheese isn’t always offered at Market. You’ll most likely find it on the weekends, but Mac n’ Cheese Grilled Cheese is really only acceptable in your most hung-over state anyway. Simply take the grilled cheese, separate the pieces of bread, insert any amount of mac n’ cheese you want, and put the bread back together. Now, drive your face directly into this mound of cheesy goodness, and don’t stop until it’s gone.
3) The “Deserves a Power Ballad” Buffalo Chicken Salad
1 chicken patty from Flying Star Diner
1 small plate of buffalo hot sauce from what I like to call ‘the condiments corner’
1 plate of salad from Tutto Fresco
Compile your ideal plate of salad from Tutto Fresco. Cut up your chicken patty into strips, and drench them in buffalo hot sauce to the degree of your liking. Put your buffo chicken strips on top of your salad (I hope you weren’t expecting the world “salad” to mean anything healthy whatsoever) and drizzle the entire thing with blue cheese dressing. Make sure to do at least three laps around Market to guarantee the most intense looks of order envy from Market-goers around you, and then stuff your face like the world is ending.
4) The “You Deserve it Because Everyday is Basically Monday” Brownie Sundae
3 scoops of vanilla ice cream from the cartons in the dessert bar
1 iced brownie from the dessert bar
I have a feeling that this one won’t need much instruction. After assembling your ice cream to look like it came directly from the scoops of Sirs Dave and Andy, cut up the brownie into small pieces. Throw those pieces on the ice cream like you’re Babe Ruth, then drizzle generously with chocolate syrup and whipped cream, and voila.
5) The “So Good They Don’t Need a Clever Rhyme” Belgian Waffle Sliders
1 Belgian waffle
2 swirls of soft-serve ice cream
Sprinkles on sprinkles on sprinkles
Make the fluffiest-possible Belgian waffle in the waffle maker (don’t pretend like you don’t know where that is). Cut that fresh waffle into four segments. Top two of the waffle segments with any flavor of soft serve, then take the remaining segments to make two little waffle ice cream sandwiches. Splatter sprinkles onto the outside to create the most Instagram-worthy dessert.
Want to make the real thing at home? Try these simple recipes.