If you watch The Bachelor, you know that hometown date week is the biggest week of the entire season. As an excuse to binge on sweets and my guilty pleasure TV show, I enlisted the help of 4 friends to sample and rate which of these 4 different chocolate bars from Whole Foods would get taken home to mom (because splitting them in four makes them healthier, right?).
Photo by Kelli Haugh
Here’s the scale:
1 = If I were on a date with this, I would say I have to go to the bathroom and then never come back
2 = One night stand material
3 = I’d pay for dinner and then probably never call again
4 = Would take home on the first date
5 = I’d take this home to meet the parents
Contender #1: Chocolove XOXOX Ginger Crystalized in Dark Chocolate (65% cocoa)
Photo by Kelli Haugh
The ginger flavor isn’t overwhelming…until you get a huge chunk. The chocolate isn’t too bitter, which is nice, but the flavors don’t blend together very well.
Here’s what the judges had to say:
- “I think I might like ginger better on sushi.”
- “I’d eat this if I had just been dumped and there was nothing else in the house.”
- “If we were at a bar and this came up and asked for my name, I’d lie and then leave through the bathroom window.”
Score: 1.8
Contender #2: Endangered Species Dark Chocolate With Espresso Beans (72% cocoa)
Photo by Kelli Haugh
For a coffee lover like myself, this chocolate is great. The espresso beans add a nice grainy texture that fits well with the bitter chocolate. I want to drink this with an almond milk latte and embrace the inner basic bitch that I am.
Wisdom from the judges:
- “I’d take this down the aisle.”
- “Would go back for seconds…possibly thirds.”
- “I’d give this a 4…but I’d cook it breakfast in the morning.”
- “If I could spit this square out right here I would.”
Score: 3.4
Contender #3: Chocolove XOXOX Toffee & Almonds in Milk Chocolate (33% cocoa)
Photo by Kelli Haugh
Just one bite of this hits you like a sugar slap to the face, which is good if you’re into that kind of thing. The toffee pieces were small enough that they didn’t get lodged in our teeth and the milk chocolate was perfectly creamy, but eating the entire bar would send you into diabetic shock.
From the judges:
- “I’d give this a 10 because I’d bring this home to mom twice.”
- “I’d bring this home to my GRANDMOM.”
- “If this were a guy on a first date I feel like his palms would be sweaty and his voice would be overly high-pitched.”
- “I can feel myself getting diabetes.”
Score: 4
Contender #4: Chocolove XOXOX Extra Strong Dark Chocolate (77% cocoa)
Photo by Kelli Haugh
Switching from the milk chocolate bar to dark chocolate this extreme was a pretty big shock to the taste buds, but if you’re a dark chocolate die hard like myself then this bar is the way to go. A good piece of dark chocolate doesn’t need anything to jazz it up and this bar proves my point.
The judges unanimously agreed:
- “I feel like this would go well with wine.”
- “I would turn this into fondue and then eat it for every meal.”
- “If I brought this home my mom would be proud.”
- “Strong contender for a second date.”
Score: 4.5
For more chocolate inspiration: