LDR – a long distance relationship. To some, it sounds dreadful but to others, it’s the only option and they wouldn’t dream of having it any other way. I am personally in an LDR and I wouldn’t want it any other way (except if my boyfriend and I lived in the same state for more than one mere month of the year). But you take what you can get.
If being with the person is completely worth it like I feel my relationship is, then you are going to have to work hard to make it work – and work well enough that both of you are happy. Here are some tips for a long distance relationship that I found are extremely important to keep it going.
1. Patience
Sounds very cliché right? Well, there is a reason for that. We, as human beings, are a wild sort of species who are unpredictable and often off our A-game. You cannot expect your partner to be perfect and you definitely cannot expect your partner to be on the exact same page as you are all the time, because frankly, you might not even be in the same time zone.
Patience is key for both sides because it keeps the mood from reaching a hostile level that will blow up and ruin a day. Keep in mind if you are having a hard time being away from your partner, they probably are struggling too.
2. Communication
Communication is of the utmost importance in any relationship, not to mention an LDR. Good communciation is the base of all good relationships. It literally applys to every single part of the relationship. In long distance, communicating feelings can be what keeps it chugging along just fine.
We’ve all been there when one person holds in feelings and the other person isn’t having the best day and two worlds collide to make a perfect, angry mess that all started from a simple miscommunication. Since it’s an LDR, your communication is obviously via something besides face to face. Which is why you need to…
3. Be specific when communicating
As much as you know you partner, texts don’t always hold the richest of emotions and can be easily interpreted wrong. Talk about your feelings, what’s going wrong and what’s going right. Keep it real and raw because that usually gets the point across the best.
4. Find a happy medium between too distant and too attached
This aspect of an LDR is the one that I still struggle with and find difficult to strike the right balance. Becoming too attached, or rather too needy, in an LDR can be dangerous because that person isn’t physically around. It can be draining when someone is always up your butt and you are just trying to get through the day without breaking down or vice versa. We all have our days of being on both sides of this predicament.
Sometimes you just miss them so much you don’t know what to do. But being too distant can put a strain on your partner and they might feel as though you aren’t really as committed. Don’t stress because every relationship is different and takes time and balance.
5. Schedule out time during the day to talk
We are blessed to be in the age of communication, where there are unlimited platforms to get in contact with someone. FaceTime dates are my personal favorite because you can see your partner’s facial expressions and beautiful face you miss terribly. Know ahead of time when you can sit down and have a real conversation with your partner to keep from feeling like you live on two different planets.
This is even more important if you are in two different time zones. This creates something to look forward to and can be a great stress reliever. Don’t forget your partner isn’t in your day to day life, so tell them the little things. Take this time to laugh and decompress from your day or get your day started on the right foot.
6. Don’t be glued to your phone all day
Use your scheduled time to talk, not your whole day. You’ll miss out on the life going on around you. The great thing about an LDR is that it allows yourself to grow separately as a person. Make sure you fully immerse yourself and don’t spend your day waiting for a text or call.
7. Have a scheduled date when you will see each other next
It’s tough to be positive when it feels like you may never see your partner again. Having a set date allows you to relax because you know it will eventually happen. It’s something to look forward to. The set date helps me stay focused on my life in front of me rather than worrying about when I am going to see my hunny next.
8. Trust
This is the key to any relationship but really shows its true colors when put to the test of an LDR. Without trust, an LDR cannot continue on peacefully. It’s absolutely vital you and your partner have equal levels of trust to keep unnecessary fights at bay.
9. Express your love
Your relationship obviously means very much to you if you are willing to go through with an LDR. So show your partner that love them. Since you aren’t around to give them an extra squeeze or smooch, you just have to express your affection in different ways.
Simple things like a good ole fashioned love letter or a little surpise care package in the mail can go a long way. Something as quick as a nice good morning text can make all the difference.
LDRs are tough and require effort. But in the end, they can be very rewarding. Do yourself and your partner a favor and stick to the basics of a good relationship and you’ll find it’s not so hard after all.