Mountain biking brightens my life. Through the intensity of the races and the close bonds with my teammates, I have become a more resilient, joyful, and confident person. But also, mountain biking changed my relationship with food at a time when I needed it the most, and showed me how to use food and exercise to thrive and improve.
When "Too Healthy" Became Unhealthy
I can’t tell you the root cause, but during my sophomore year of high school my attitudes toward food and exercise changed. I began trying to eat better and started running on the treadmill to keep in shape for soccer season. I was healthier, faster, and goal-driven. Until I wasn’t.
This focus on exercise and healthy eating quickly became an obsession. I would run religiously every night. I would refuse to eat anything I thought was unhealthy. I convinced myself I had a healthy lifestyle. But this “healthy” life was wearing on me.
I lost weight. A lot of it, and quickly. Finally, when I went to the doctor, she gave me a concerned look and had me consume nutritional drinks to get my weight up. The summer after sophomore year, I drank my Ensure every day, wavering between dread and elation over my return to a normal weight. I slowly started to press on the forces controlling my eating and exercising habits.
When Mountain Biking Entered My Life
During this difficult time I began to mountain bike. I started going on short rides with my dad, and eventually joined a mountain bike team of students in the Phoenix area. By the end of the summer, I decided to race in the Arizona Interscholastic Cycling League during the fall.
After the first race, I was hooked. I loved my teammates and discovered how amazing racing through forests and deserts could be. I amped up my training, going out to ride anytime I had a free hour. I exercised not because I felt I had to, but because I genuinely loved riding my bike.
How It Changed Me
Although I continued to wrestle with feelings of guilt related to food, I started to see food as my fuel for races and rides, to give me energy and a chance to compete with my full focus. Each time that ugly feeling came back, I told myself, “this is going to make you stronger in the races."
Soon, I realized that I no longer felt controlled by negative emotions when it came to eating. My unhealthy habits lost their power over me, and I grew stronger every day. I continued to improve my riding skills and learned how to help my body recover after rough rides and races.
I can now say that I’m out of the dangerous patterns I slipped into, and enjoy pancakes, cookies, and cakes after long rides in the desert. I'm still working on balance and moderation, but I now have a better sense of my desires and limits.
I eat healthy foods because I enjoy them. I exercise because I’m happiest when outside and active. Mountain biking changed my relationship with food by teaching me how food and exercise have the power to elevate my life.