Name one college student who owns a can opener.
That’s right: nobody.
My suitemates and I decided to cook some pasta during Fall Break and realized that nobody had a can opener. So I, being the genius, decided to try to open the can by stabbing it with a big-ass knife. Smart idea? Yeah, I mean it worked…except I ended up with a stab wound.
So this is my PSA to you all: Don’t open cans with sharp knives. Don’t do it.
Here are easier, but possibly equally as dangerous, ways you can open a can without a can opener.
1. Chisel and Hammer (or anything resembling the two)
When you’re feeling like a neanderthal and are really desperate for a can of chili, go at it with this method and you’ll have all you really need in life.
Photo courtesy of WikiHow
Photo courtesy of WikiHow
Photo courtesy of WikiHow
Photo courtesy of WikiHow
Photo courtesy of WikiHow
2. Rub the can against concrete/rock.
How does this work? Magic.
All you have to do is walk outside and use the cobblestones on Old Campus.
3. Spoon
Possibly the least dangerous and cleanest way to do this. Use one of the safest utensils in the kitchen to open your desperately needed can of baked beans.
4. I mean, if you really want…with a big-ass knife. But do it the profesh way.
Whatever you do, don’t just start stabbing the can with the point of the knife like a certain genius from before.
Now go forth, Jedi, and open your cans of pasta sauce and soup like a boss.