Athens, Ohio is home to unique tastes and unique people. You can find everything from Thai to chicken wings to something that resembles mom’s home cooking. While Libra is the queen of being indecisive, it can be difficult for anyone to pick the perfect place to eat. Let me help you pick where to eat based on your zodiac sign.
Aries March 21 – April 19
Aries, you keep it real. You’re just one of the bros. When it comes to a fun night out on Court Street, we can find you surrounded by football, beer and pizza. Courtside Pizza is the next place you should try based on your zodiac sign. I recommend the new loaded buffalo chicken pizza and a Blue Moon. Bring your Libra friend with you so that you have a wing man to flirt with the cute boy across the bar. Innocently, of course.
Taurus April 20 – May 20
Taurus, as the bull, you’re stubborn by nature. Picking a place to eat may be difficult with a big group of friends pulling you in different directions, so let me handle this. You love to indulge once in a while with soul food and good company. Next time you’re out and about on campus, try Jackie O’s Pub and Brewery. You’ll love the dim-lit ambiance and craft beers. Bring your Pisces friend next time, and spoil them a little. Money can buy happiness, and it comes in the form of fish and chips.
Gemini May 21 – June 20
Gemini, you are outgoing and curious. You may have already tried the hole-in-the-wall restaurants around Athens, but next time try Shade on State Street based on your zodiac sign. If you haven’t heard of it, your co-workers cousin’s friend from psych class probably has, and you’re friends with everyone. This restaurant has loaded nachos, Jamaican jerk chicken sliders, and margaritas. You’ll be sure to thrive. Bring your Capricorn friend and show them what a real fun time looks like.
Cancer June 21 – July 22
Cancer, you are the sweetheart of the zodiac, and we love you for it. You share everything with your friends and you have your cute quirks. When you go out to eat, a homey feeling and good customer service are important to you. You gravitate towards the mom and pop place. You should try Brenen’s Coffee Cafe based on your zodiac sign. You’ll quickly find your go-to brunch sandwich. Bring your Virgo friend next time, and your planner, because this duo will fill a calendar with many future brunch dates.
Leo July 23 – August 22
Leo, you crave attention, don’t deny it. On the other hand, you have enough confidence to hype up yourself and all of your friends twofold. Going out to dinner should live up to the hype. Next Friday, try Zoe on East State Street. You’ll feel like you’ve escaped Athens for the night due to the beautifully crafted entrees. Go to Figleaf and buy a new outfit for the night, because why not? Bring your Sagittarius bestie with you. Even though the Sagittarius has probably been there a million times, they will let you believe you found the next greatest restaurant.
Virgo August 23 – September 22
Virgo, you are keen to detail and organized to a fault. When you finally relax, you are a weirdo, and we embrace that. Before going out to eat anywhere, you probably have already looked up the menu, and an extensive drink list is on your list of must-haves. Whether it is coffee or wine, you already know what you want. Next time you plan your dinner date, try Village Bakery on East State Street. Try the pesto sandwich and maybe a bottle of Rose. A Taurus will make a good date for the night, confident that they will call you a lyft and end the night with facemarks and movies.
Libra September 23 – October 22
Libra, you are the fashionista we all wish we were. You are charming and live for the aesthetic. You are the scales, so you plan your decisions thoroughly. I’ll save you the time, next time you’re out and about, try Court Street Diner, and dress accordingly. You may not be into burgers and fries, but if you order the Oreo milkshake, you will have the perfect prop to take a retro picture sitting at the diner’s bar. Bring your Gemini friend, they will make sure the picture is Instagram worthy.
Scorpio October 23 – November 21
Scorpio, you are intense and mysterious, or at least you try to be. You know how to confuse people and you do it well. Next time you go out to eat, try Stephen’s On Court based on your zodiac sign. You will enjoy the baked mac and cheese on the menu and feel like you’ve splurged. Then suddenly, you’ve disappeared only to arrive for the drink specials in a different outfit. Nice play. Spend your night looking illusive on the back patio and invite your Aries friend to stir things up.
Sagittarius November 22 – December 21
Sagittarius, you are adventurous, brutally honest, and you love to push the boundaries. Athens, Ohio is pretty small, so how do you escape? Next time you go out to eat, try Lui Lui on Station Street. The global cuisine will make you feel like you’ve traveled for the night and you will feel content. I recommend the Mongolian beef or the Athens sushi roll. Bring your Leo friend with you and make them try something new. They’ll sit there all night listening to your stories and laughing at your jokes.
Capricorn December 22 – January 19
Capricorn, you are very practical. Like your Virgo friends, you need to relax sometimes. But what atmosphere is right for you? I’d guess you like dim lighting with a coffee aroma. The next time you’re walking around campus, try Donkey Coffee on West Washington Street. Buy that cute tea pot they have on display and sink into the couch. Maybe you’ll get lucky and there will be a poetry reading that night. Bring your Scorpio friend to fit the aesthetic.
Aquarius January 20 – February 18
Aquarius, you are the weirdo of the zodiac, and we accept you. You are unique and rebellious. You need a meal that reflects your personality. Next time you go out, try O’Betty’s Red Hot on West State Street. You will be in awe of the ambiance when you walk in and even more impressed with the strange creations they come up with. I recommend the Dixie “Hubba Hubba” hot dog. Bring your fellow Aquarius with you, considering the only person who really understands you is yourself. And you need someone with the same humor around.
Pisces February 19 – March 20
Pisces, you are a dreamer. Neither Athens, Ohio nor society can define you. You are everyone’s friend and we appreciate you for your wisdom. When you hear a Pisces say “trust me, we have to go here,” just go. The next place you are dragging your friends to is Thai Paradise on West Union Street. You recently watched a documentary on Thai cuisine and now you will be obsessed for about a week. Make sure you have a Cancer friend with you so you can share your food with them and receive endless compliments on your menu choice.