So, it’s finally the weekend. You’ve had a very long week and you’re ready to be LIT. The group chat has been buzzing all day with plans for tonight. Where will you pre? What will you wear? Where will you go? That last one is easy—you always end up at Stages!
In honour of Kingston’s top club, and the Spoon Queen’s line skip event, here are the 12 stages of a night out at Stages for all you drinking-age partiers out there.
1. The Last Supper
The ACTUAL most important meal, as everybody knows, is the one you eat right before you start drinking. You make a whole box of Kraft dinner and prepare your body for the trash that is about to follow.
2. Getting Ready
One of the most fun parts, tbh. For us chicks, this involves running back and forth to your housemate’s room and comparing outfits while listening to your banger playlist. You try to decide how ~revealing~ to dress and you do your hair and makeup. I’m assuming boys just like, pick a clean top and pants and spray some cologne. Am I wrong?
3. The Pre-Game
The most important, and arguably most fun, part of the night. Pick your poison! Wine? Shots? Coolers? (lol no). Listen to your party playlist, dance while you have the space to do so and leave the house sufficiently drunk.
4. The Journey
Trying to lead a squad of drunk people to the club is like herding sheep, tbh. There’s always that friend who’s like, “guys hurry up, line skip is about to end!” And that other messy friend who is just like, stumbling into shrubs.
5. The Line
Ugh, the line. The cold, squishy line. If you’re not drunk enough, this is where you sadly sober up. People are pushing and cutting the line. Maybe your annoying line skip friend has a point.
6. We IN
LADIES WE MADE IT! We in Stages. The music is bumping, people are dancing, and couples are sloppily making out. You and your squad find a spot on the dance floor and bust a MOVE.
7. You hit the bar
Time to get a vodka cran!!! You have the one friend who’s like “ladies we need to get a MAN to buy us drinks!” and another friend who’s like “more SHOTS.” Meanwhile, you stick to your vodka cran because you need to pace yourself!
8. The bathroom break
BATHROOM BREAK! What should take 2 minutes while sober takes 10 while drunk. You struggle to unclasp/clasp your bodysuit, you take a blurry selfie in the mirror, you run into random people and make new friends and you do a mid-night debrief to make sure everyone’s still alive.
9. Your song comes on
Suddenly, your JAM comes on! All the basic girls yell, “this is MY SONG!” The men scurry to find a woman to dance with. You and your squad tear up the dance floor with your best moves.
10. The chaos
Now is the time of night that just turns into a mess. One friend is way too drunk for this, another friend is fighting with someone she’s KINDA seeing, someone is texting their ex, someone is crying and someone’s making out with a stranger.
11. Post-club antics
So, you went to Stages, you danced, you drank, and now it’s 2:00 am and it’s time to go. One of the squad want to go see their ex, another is like, “no way, drunk food!” and someone else is falling asleep. Meanwhile, someone’s already missing or is pausing to vomit in the shrubs.
12. The morning after/recap
You wake up (maybe in your bed, maybe not) with last nights makeup and clothes on. You and your pals talk about the crazy things you did last night and the people you went home with. Despite the hangover, you don’t regret a thing.
Seriously, if you haven’t had a night at Stages in a while, you’re missing out. It’s a good thing Spoon U is selling line skip tickets for Stages St Patty’s weekend!! Wooo! Check out our Facebook event and come to our booth in the ARC to buy yours today!