For me, the Super Bowl is like a glorified Sunday Funday. My team is never in the game (Go Browns!), and rooting for the Patriots year after year on behalf of my friends gets old. Still, every year I head to a friend’s apartment or a local pub to catch the game, because it’s the Super Bowl and that’s what we do. Well, also because there’s guaranteed food and drinks. Alas, the real reason for watching the Super Bowl—drinking. If you don’t have a dog in the race, or just don’t really give a sh*t about the game, here’s the ultimate Super Bowl drinking game so you can feel like the real winner at the end.
#SpoonTip: Spoon University does not support binge drinking or underage drinking. Sunday Funday can be just as fun with a massive plate of cheese fries instead.
Take a Sip:
When someone makes a first down
Literally, anyone.
If we get a look at Tom Brady’s behind
Yep, I’ll drink to that.
When someone swears at the television
If they’re in your crew, find a new crew.
When someone on screen has their face painted
Well, that’s cute.
Every time someone says, “that was such a good one,” after a commercial
It’s the Super Bowl—they’re all good. That’s partly why I’m here.
Whenever someone calls Tom Brady the GOAT
I will admit, he does have a lot going for him.
When one of the players shows up in a commercial
mo screen time = mo money
When you see a Doritos commercial
These are just the best.
Take Two Sips:
When the majority of those around you cheer
Wait, what just happened? I was eating.
When you realize you ate a whole bowl of chips on your own
But, like, are there more?
If you have to unbutton your pants because you ate too much
Not even mad about it.
If someone at the party is falling asleep in the corner
OK Kanye, time to get up. Let’s be adults.
When the winning quarterback says that he’s going to Disney World
Cue to adorable Disney commercial.
Finish Your Drink:
Someone makes a touchdown
Someone, please do this 14 seconds in so we can get free pizza.
If you spill salsa on any of your clothes
It was worth it.
If the team you’ve finally decided to root for wins
You won! You won!
Shotgun a Beer:
There are fireworks at any moment during the game
‘Merica!
You realize you’ve just been talking the whole and forgot there was a game on
You might as well do something productive now.
Take a Shot:
Justin Timberlake survives the halftime show without a malfunction
And take a sip if he brings sexy back.
Justin Timberlake brings out Chris Stapleton
This is my one game day prediction.
If you can name any of the Eagles players
Seriously, that’s impressive.
So play along with this drinking game if the Super Bowl just doesn’t strike your fancy. Or, you know, you could just get a plate of nachos and forget about the world for a while.