Turning 20 is the worst age to be. You begin having friends that can do bottomless brunch or order a beer with their burger, but you, my friend, are not 21. No one prepared you for being this awkward almost age of always being offered the drink list at restaurants.
Over Memorial Day Weekend, I realized how awful this age was while at a family wedding. My parents and I were downstairs at our hotel’s bar, gabbing with all the family that arrived that day. I realized that out of all my cousins that were around the college age like me, I was the youngest and the only one not 21.
The bartender made eye contact with me and asked if I would like a drink. I consider myself a good kid and do not have a fake ID, nor do I condone underage purchasing of drinks, but I did not want to embarrassingly admit I wasn’t 21. I slyly said, “I am good sir, I am the designated driver.” Which was not necessarily wrong, because I was told that I may be needed to guide tipsy family members back to their room. I was the Designated Hotel Guide – the DHG.
Though later on, I did embarrassingly admit to the guy when he gave me a water on the rocks that I was only 20. This experience led me to decide to compile a list of ways to slyly get out of admitting you aren’t 21. This list is not a way to order alcoholic beverages because that is illegal folks, but they are ways to politely turn down a beverage while keeping your age a secret.
1) Say you are the Designated Driver
This is my go-to because it makes you appear mature, responsible, and caring for your fellow peers. I recommend mouthing these words to the bartender or waiter, just so your friends do not notice and call you out for your attempt at being mysterious.
2) Say you are pregnant
This one is for the ladies and it is a super tricky statement. If your friends overhear you, you do not want to be stuck having to explain why you told someone you are pregnant when you aren’t. I would only recommend this one as a last resort, or when you are on the spot blanking for an idea. I also do not recommend this one if you are out with family.
3) Say you are giving up drinking for Lent
With many other religious and non-religious groups using Lent as ways to improve themselves, this statement makes you seem dedicated and motivated. If you say it quick enough, the bartender or waitress may not even realize that Lent is not currently happening.
Again kids, do not try to order alcoholic beverages when you are underage because that is illegal. Fake IDs are very illegal and unreliable to the point where they are not worth your time or money. I promise you that you can handle the wait until you are 21. These three excuses, however, will assist you with not having to admit your age when turning down a waiter’s offer for a drink.
Obviously, you can always use the end-all-be-all, polite “No, thank you” with a small smile, but if you have a brain like mine, you don’t think of that on the spot. Next time you are at brunch and your friends are ordering bottomless booze, use one of these to turn down a drink and never have your cheeks go red from the shame of being younger than 21 again! Cheers! *clinks water glass*