Have you ever been eating a fruit on a normal day, and wondered what pun could be made out of the name of said fruit? I know that I sure have. Well, you no longer have to wonder, for the fruit gods have spoken. Your fruit pun heaven begins here, and the puns are italicized for extra emphasis and cringe.
Banana
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
Apple
Why did the Red Delicious say no to a date? It was apple-y married.
Pear
Why did the Bosc start smoking? It was pear-pressured into it.
Berry
What crime was the strawberry arrested for? Armed roberry.
Melon
What do you get when you cross a watermelon with a dog? A melon-collie.
Cantaloupe
What did the melon say to its girlfriend who wanted to get married in Las Vegas? “Sorry honey, but we cant-elope.”
Cherry
What did the fruit call its sweetheart? Ma cherry.
Grape
What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Pineapple
What fruit always gets tickets for speeding? The fineapple.
Lemon
Which fruit has the best imagination? John Lemon.
Lime
Why couldn’t the citrus get a date? It was really bad at pick-up limes.
Mango
What did the fruit do when she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her? She let that man-go.
Plum
Which fruit should you call to fix your sink? The plumber.
Kiwi
Why couldn’t the fruit get into its apartment? It lost its key-wi.
Pomegranate
Which fruit is the best at geology? The pome-granite.
Peach
What happened when a fruit tried to destroy America? It was impeached.
I hope everyone had a good laugh or cringe reading through these, because they were berry fun to write. Seriously, I had a grape time thinking of these. And maybe next time you decide to indulge on some fruit, you’ll think of an even better pun to accompany it.