The Disney Princesses we know and love today are different from the ones of our childhood — and that’s a good thing. Today, they’re more diverse, more gutsy, and more unstoppable. Though most of their stories are generally centralized around the concept of love (still working on the “more independent” thing), where they reign from is pretty varied. To celebrate each princess being a badass woman, here is what kind of cake each Disney princess would eat if she were, you know, real and alive.
Snow White: German Chocolate Cupcakes With a Kick
“Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” was believed to be based on an old German folk story from 1812. But in 2012, a German man named Eckhard Sander wrote a book about how Snow White might have actually been based on a German countess named Margarete von Waldeck, who was a mistress.
According to Sander, the countess died in 1554 when she was poisoned by authorities after the King of Spain and her stepmother thought the possible marriage between her and the Spanish Prince might cause political turmoil. Because of Waldeck’s dark demise, I decided that German chocolate cupcakes with liquor buttercream would be the perfect treat for sweet Snow White. Like the princess’ story, these cupcakes pack an unexpected punch.
Cinderella: French Vanilla Cappuccino Cupcakes
There are several different variations of “Cinderella,” but for our purposes, we’ll use the French version.
First of all, our girl Cinderella really needs to wake up (cue the cappuccino) if she thinks wearing glass slippers is a good idea. She also needs that extra caffeine because I don’t think anyone has ever lost a shoe and not realized it until they got home. Time to wake up and eat a coffee cupcake, girl.
Aurora: German Chocolate Espresso Cake With Espresso Frosting
If Cinderella needed a cappuccino cupcake, then Aurora from “Sleeping Beauty” needs an espresso cake. I’m not one to judge, but it’s pretty irresponsible to sleep days on end waiting for some magical prince to come and kiss you. Aurora, what were you thinking, honey?
This cake isn’t for the dainty of heart. It has espresso in the cake portion and espresso in the frosting, which would have definitely woken Aurora up and brought her to her senses.
Ariel: Cherry Vanilla Cheese Danish Cupcakes
Growing up, my entire bedroom was “The Little Mermaid”-themed, so you could say Ariel is one of my favorites. Since “The Little Mermaid” is based off of a Danish story, it was only appropriate that Ariel, with her fierce red hair, eat a cherry vanilla cheese danish cupcake. With that kind of flavor, it’s no wonder so many people love this Disney princess.
Belle: Foret Noire Cake
Belle is one smart cupcake, which means she’s able to make an intricate Foret Noire Cake, aka Black Forest Cake, without breaking a sweat. Belle is also bold and not afraid to step on toes or stray away from the pack, which is why this deeply flavored cake accurately represents her.
Jasmine: Maharani Cupcakes
These cupcakes are named after a queen in India, which suites Jasmine because she is a strong and bold Disney princess who might as well be a queen.
Although I’ve never had these cupcakes, they’re known to have a curry lemon flavor as well as a refreshing basil topping, which perfectly describes Jasmine. She’s not afraid to break away from the norm, and she’s got a hint of sour in her sway. She’s everything we’ve ever wanted in a princess and also all in one cupcake.
Pocahontas: Sunflower Seed Cake
Like Pocahontas, this sunflower seed cake has no sugar coating on it and has absolutely no nonsense. It’s nutritious, minimal, and hardy. It’s also beautiful in a simplistic kind of way, much like Pocahontas. She never wears any elaborate ball gowns like some of the other princesses — she sticks to her roots and stands up for what she believes in. (I’d stand up for this cake).
Mulan: Chinese Sponge Cake
Mulan cut her beautiful hair, pretended to be a man and fought for her country, which pretty much makes her the biggest and boldest gal on this list. But Mulan is also full of love. In fact, she absorbs love like a sponge and spreads it. She’s caring, compassionate, but also fierce, which is why she would definitely indulge in a Chinese sponge cake.
Tiana: Hummingbird Cake
Tiana is all about embracing the southern spirit, which is why she would probably indulge in hummingbird cake. Hummingbird cake is extremely rich, creamy, and filled with nuts, which is pretty characteristic of Tiana’s situation in “The Princess and the Frog.” All of a sudden, her life is flipped upside down and the next thing you know, she’s kissing a frog.
Rapunzel: German Strawberry Cake
Rapunzel, based on a German fairytale, is known for her long, strawberry blonde hair. You know the saying, “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair…” er, whatever. But wouldn’t it be great if instead, Rapunzel was too busy to let that mean witch up because she was busy eating this German strawberry cake? Not only is this cake light and airy (and Rapunzel is a little bit too), it’s also very beautiful, much like her.
Merida: Scottish Carrot Cake
Merida has this distinctive red hair in the movie “Brave,” that’s a lot like carrot cake — and not just because of its color. Her hair, much like the cake, is very thick, filled with a ton of layers and hard to tame. It’s also something you see once and never are able to forget.
Elsa & Anna: Ice Cream Cupcakes
Since a good portion of “Frozen” takes place in the freezing cold, it’s only appropriate that Elsa and Anna would regularly eat ice cream cupcakes. These cupcakes are not only beautiful (much like these two sisters), but they’re so good and so cold they’ll also make you stop in your tracks.
Moana: Hawaiian Pineapple Poke Cake
Moana is a sweet and powerful princess. For this reason, I’m thinking that Hawaiian pineapple poke cake would be something she’d eat because it’s filled with pineapples, which are both sweet and tart.
Disney, in more ways than one, has come a long way and will hopefully continue to include more women of different backgrounds in its movies. Like eating a slice of cake, you always want more, and we want more empowered and diverse princesses.