The great thing about the word “spill” is that it can refer to two of the worst things that can happen to you in the dining hall. Whether it’s taking a tumble or sloshing half your coffee onto the floor, nothing is worse than drawing attention to yourself in front of 150 peers.
UConn students — who have an evil tendency to clap every time someone’s plate clatters to the floor — share the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to them in the dining hall.
1. The Miscalculation
“When I went to put my fork away in the utensil shoot, I accidentally hit the worker in the face while he was emptying the bin.”
2. The Morning After
“Seeing the guy you hooked up with over the weekend and trying to avoid eye contact but then realizing that his friends are sitting near your friends.”
3. The Great Friend
“My first weekend at school my freshman year I drank more than I ever thought I could the night before. The next morning I had a presentation and successfully made it through and headed over to the dining hall. I started to feel unwell, but I had a friend help me finish getting my food and sit down. Then I threw up all over the plate, my food, the table, and filled the entire cup with vomit. And my friend left me there.”
4. The French Toast Fiasco
“I slipped in water in Putnam and sent a plateful of french toast stix flying. There weren’t a lot of people in the dining hall (thank god) but I still couldn’t tell if my knees or my ego were more bruised in the end.”
5. The Crispy Conundrum
“I started a fire in the toaster in Towers last year.”
6. The Spin-Out
“One time while taking my plate to the dish return in South, I slipped on a banana and everyone saw, stopped, and laughed –including the boy I liked at the time…. and I thought slipping on bananas only happened in Mario Kart.”
7. The Friendly Stranger
“I put my stuff down on a table, went to get food, and when I came back there was a complete stranger sitting down. As I walked up and put my plate of food down they apologized, having thought I was someone else, but then continued to sit at my table and finish their meal anyway.”
8. The Slippery Situation
“Slipping on food in South… twice in a row… as if almost falling on your butt isn’t embarrassing enough the first time.”
9. The Quick Getaway
“I had a plateful of Chicken Tikka Masala and turned to ask my friend if she wanted me to grab her a fork, only to dump my entire plateful down the side of the utensils wall. As I watched the sauce slide down to the floor, all I could do was run to the dish return and pretend it wasn’t me.”
10. The Honest Mistake
“I sat with with the wrong people by accident. I sat down, looked around, and picked my plate up immediately without a word. I have no excuse.”
11. The Sick Struggle
“I was so sick with mono that I couldn’t get myself up onto the high chairs at McMahon for, like, 3 full minutes. Then, when my throat was too swollen to swallow any of my breakfast, I cried. Mono is a b*tch.”
12. The Guilty Thief
“That one time I got caught stealing macaroons.”
13. The Straight-Up Mess
“I was at McMahon carrying a whole bunch of plates walking back to my seat. I ended up dropping half of my food on the ground, which everyone saw. But that’s not even the worst part. Afterwards, I sat down, only it wasn’t even my table.”
14. The Lost Bet
“I lost an “Odds Are” game and had to crawl out of the dining hall on my hands and knees while wearing a skirt.”
*Submissions edited for length and clarity.