After a long day of tailgating on the quad, the walk to the football stadium can seem like a drag. The excitement for the game is beating through your blood, but then you spot it– the dining hall. Usually the sound of going to the dining hall makes you want to gag, but slight intoxication makes it appear like a five-star restaurant.
There are no two things that go more hand in hand than drunchies and unlimited food, which explains why most every student at some point in his or her college experience eats at the dining hall drunk. In the moment, these eight reasons will make it seem as if there’s never been a finer dining experience.
1. You are instantly hit by an over-stimulating aroma when entering.
When you’re sober, the first thing that may come to mind when you think of the smell of your dining hall is cat vomit. Under the influence, though, it smells as though momma just made a nice, home-cooked meal.
2. There is zero anxiety when it comes to being surrounded by all of your peers.
Alcohol makes you lose all inhibitions, including extreme, debilitating social anxiety. Any fear that you had before entering the dining hall fades, and all you want to do is rage with everyone inside.
3. There is so much food at your fingertips.
Pizza, nachos, fries, burgers, and more. You name it, it’s there. Your plate keeps piling up, and it’s better than your Thanksgiving Day feast. When sober, salad sounds like the best option to avoid the Freshman 15, but put a little alcohol in your system and throw caution to the wind.
4. You don’t feel the need to dodge last night’s hookup.
Usually, this would make you want to hide behind the pasta bar, but at this point you’re way past that. In the moment, your hookup looks way cuter…so can I get yo number?
5. You can eat whatever and however much you want without feeling judged.
Yeah, you’re gonna eat two plates of fried catfish and lasagna, with a blue Icee on the side. But everyone else around you is doing the same, so who cares?
6. Everyone seems exponentially nicer.
“Oh you’re waiting for a burger too?” “I love your shirt!” “OMG give me your number, let’s hang sometime!”
7. You can steal food for later without feeling as though you’ve committed a crime.
The workers behind the counters are most likely giving you mean glares, but you know you’re doing the responsible thing. No one should drink on an empty stomach.
8. You leave as if you just conquered the world.
Despite the low-grade food, baby, you just slayed this b*tch. And if you haven’t experienced this yet, no need to fret– there are plenty more Saturday tailgates to give you the perfect excuse.