Guest swipes (or flex passes here at UConn) are a hot commodity. They’re limited and highly valuable, so you want to make sure that you’re not handing out the goods to the wrong kinds of people.
Here’s a handy guide to whose grubby paws you want to keep off your swipes.
1. The friend who doesn’t eat anything.
If you just came here to socialize, GTFO. I didn’t bring you to this magical wonderland of free food just to chat. It was a meal swipe, not a hanging out swipe.
2. The friend who is just using you for food.
“Oh my god I haven’t seen you in like, forever! You should swipe me in so we can get lunch together!”
That one vague off-campus friend. I know your game here, buddy. Go home to your apartment kitchen.
3. The friend who complains about dining hall food
Beggars can’t be choosers. You will eat the extraordinarily flat and bland hamburgers, and you will like it. If you don’t like the soggy fries, feel free to walk yourself on out of here.
4. The friend who eats like a pig.
When you leave the table scattered in stray noodles, sauce splatters, and crumpled napkins, we have an issue. It’s important that you don’t put me off my meal when I was nice enough to provide you with a meal at all.
5. The friend who doesn’t share food.
I remember that time you ordered wings at 2 am and refused to share them with me. And I am actively choosing now to return the favor. A college girl with drunchies never forgets…And never forgives.
Your meal swipes are there for you to use as you please. But beware that not everyone who wants your swipes has the best intentions. Try to save your swipes for a friend who deserves it.