So on a day to day basis my friends and I deal with the craziest things at our restaurant. They have helped me come up with tips for me to give you about what you should probably stop doing in restaurants so you don’t get your food spit in or something (i’m totally kidding about spit in the food). For those of you who work in restaurants, I hope you feel the pain with us.
1. Acting Entitled When You Didn’t Make a Reservation
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When you walk into a restaurant, most hostesses are going to greet you with a huge smile and a warm welcome. We love to talk with people, trust me. But when you didn’t make a reservation and you act like you are the king of the world, it really just brings our mood down. We are here to do our job and we should be respected and not belittled. Like congrats if it is your anniversary or birthday or your grandmother twice removed made it to 100, if you have a party of 5 or greater, please make a reservation. Or at least just be nice when we tell you there is a 40 min wait time.
2. Making Out With Your Significant Other at the Bar (or a Table)
Photo courtesy of ffffound.com
I am all for a little PDA but making out at the bar for 10 minutes without taking a breather is just a no no. No one wants to see that.The other night a couple was lip locked at the bar from 4pm until 10pm….no joke. Like that is what your bedroom or hotel room or anywhere else is for…except the bathroom. And another thing, it is not okay to get up from your table and sit on your fiance’s lap. I don’t care if you just got engaged today and neither does anymore else who is trying to enjoy their meal and not choke on it while you two feel up each other. (Yes, this is actually a true story).
3. Asking to Change Your Seat a Million Times
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Okay so for anyone who hasn’t worked in a restaurant before, listen up. We try to seat in a rotation so every server gets the same about of tables. When you come in the restaurant and we seat you, we are just following our pattern. If you don’t like where we sit you because it’s next to the kitchen, we totally understand and would be happy to move you if we can. Usually we are just seating you where our managers are telling us to, so we get you might not like it but i’d say 1 move is enough. If you don’t like your next choice then I don’t know what to tell you. Stop being so picky people.
4. Asking For Things Right When You Get to the Table
photo courtesy of quickmeme.com
I am a hostess. I am not a server. I have not one clue about half of the things on the menu or any of the 2,000 wines that are on our list. Like I am still in college over here buying the cheapest wine I can find. When I seat you I am just giving you menus. You little alcoholics out there gotta take chill pill and wait for your server to come over to get your wine list or to order the drink you have been thinking about all day at work.
5. Getting Mad When We Don’t Have a Reservation Slot Available
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Working in a restaurant in Newport, reservation slots fill up really quick. For reservations on the weekend, you need to make them at LEAST 2 weeks in advance. And if your party is over 6… a hell lot longer than just 2 weeks. So when you call the night before to get a reservation for 10… please don’t yell at us because the only time we have available is 10:15pm. There is truly nothing we can do about it. We are sorry that we can’t take you, but yelling at us is not going to make our nights or you feel any better.
And another thing, trying to bribe us with money also won’t work. If we have a full restaurant and you try to slip us $100 because you want a table and didn’t make a reservation, it will not make a difference. We all wish we could take it, like really bad, but we sadly cannot nor can we squeeze you in.
6. Treating the Bathroom Like a Frat House
Photo courtesy of totalfratmove.com
Okay seriously, you guys will not believe what my hostess friends and I have seen. First off, the toilet is where all the things that come out of your body should go. Last year…on the same night, there were TWO incidents where someone decided they did not want to s**t in the toilet, but on the seat and on the floor. TWICE. Like, how does that even happen.
Also, drinks do not go on the bathroom sink. I mean I don’t really see the point of bringing your martini into the bathroom, (unless your a college kid bringing a seltzer in to slip a nip into the drink because you can’t afford shit lol) but hey, do you. But if you finish your drink in the bathroom, take it back to your table or to the bar. We are not your janitors.
And last but definitely not least…. DO NOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM. Yes…we see both of you walking out. You are not sly. But hey, I give you both credit for having that much confidence to have sex in the bathroom, but pls pls pls pls save it for later.
7. Screaming in the Middle of the Dining Room
Photo courtesy of thestir.cafemom.com
Everyone wants to have a good time when they go out whether they are celebrating a birthday, a bachelorette party or even just a nice night out, but there comes a point where one needs to be respectful to those around them. If you look around in a restaurant, most of the time you’ll see at least a few kids. So it really isn’t okay to scream F***, or anything else inappropriate. You actually shouldn’t scream at all. Most people are trying to enjoy a quiet dinner and don’t want to have to ask to move because they cannot hear the person next to them. It is just a hassle for everyone so just play the quiet game at the table if you need to.
8. Hitting on the Hostess
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Saying we have pretty eyes is one thing, but asking us on a date when you 40 years old and slurring your words is not okay. We get that your drunk and think we might be pretty (I mean hey I think I’m pretty when I’m drunk)… but come on. We are just trying to do our job and get our shift over with. A restaurant is not the place to hit on someone while you’re piss drunk.
9. Wearing Clothes That Your Mother Would Not Approve of
Photo courtesy of the huffintonpost.com
Sometimes when people walk into the restaurant I work at, I feel like I’m watching one of those “People of Walmart” Vines. Like no, it is not okay to wear a bathing suit top and shorts. Like seriously… we would ask you to put a shirt on. And it is actually really uncomfortable for us, so if you just come fully dressed it would be much appreciated. Or wearing a tight dress like your going to the strip club is also just a no. I mean were not going to say anything but you’ll def be getting some dirty looks.
10. Asking for a Table For Just Drinks
Photo by Jessica Heckman
In most restaurants… tables are reserved for full service dining. This is so that the servers actually make money so they can pay their bills. When you want to sit and order dessert and 1 espresso martini, it really takes money away from what the server could be making on a cheese plate, 2 steaks and a few drinks. So I am sorry to tell you I will not be seating you.
11. Asking Too Many Questions
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The restaurant that I work out has an outside bar. Every single time a person from the outside bar comes in to use the bathroom, they feel like they need to ask or tell us a story. Yesterday I got asked if the man could “borrow” the rest room. Like yeah, just give it back to me tomorrow…? Anyway, the only question that needs to be asked is where it is not if you can use it. And another thing, you don’t need to tell me your whole life story, I don’t need to hear, “So I am sitting outside with my kids and my dog and the server told me that I can use the restroom in here….” Just zip it.
12. Camping
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And last, but definitely not least, do not be a camper. For those of you who do not know what a camper is, it’s a guest who occupies a tables for 2+ hours. Yes, people actually do sit that long. The other day I had a table sit for 3 hours and 47 minutes. Like don’t you have something better to do with your life???
Anyways, there are two reasons why you shouldn’t be a camper. One, unless you are tipping your server 30+ percent, you are costing them money. When you sit at a table for that long, they are unable to get a turn on that table and make more money. And since they only make around 2.3$ an hour, they really need to make turns on tables. And two, in my restaurant, hostesses are not allowed to leave until there are only 3 tables left in the restaurant. So if there are 5 tables camping out, we have to STAND there bored…until 11:30pm or even later. It is miserable.
Well I am glad I finally got to rant about what I deal with on a day to day basis and I know all my hosts and hostesses can agree. So next time any of y’all go out for dinner, make sure to keep all of these in mind! XOXO