We all have our favorite politicians and we all have our favorite drinks. Which one of these politicians would you order at the bar?
Barack Obama: Whiskey
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You’re the most liked alcohol in the country. You appeal to a variety of tastes, from Fireball drinkers to the Ron Swansons of America. You’re well thought out and drink very slooowly. And sometimes you’re a bit dry, but you get the job done.
Donald Trump: White Russian
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You like being drunk, but not having to taste alcohol. This is the closest thing to drinking from that sippy cup that you secretly use at home, because you’re a child. Also, you’re racist, so you like the word “white” to be in everything you consume.
Bernie Sanders: Microbrew
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Originating from a small city, people tend to underestimate you, but you do have a particular taste. You enjoy talking about social issues at a beer garden in a hidden patio bar in a hipster part of the city. Some people are opting out of the more traditional beers and venturing over to your more eclectic taste.
Hilary Clinton: Long Island Iced Tea
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Isn’t this what the cool kids are drinking? You’re never really sure what you’re getting with this drink. There are a lot of ingredients in this drink that could easily be low-quality, but could be hidden by the overdone umbrella that the bartender puts on top.
Ben Carson: Mojito
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You talk too much. The bartender doesn’t want to hear about that one time you did something cool while you’re forcing them to muddle out of season mint leaves. You’ll probably drink too many of these and “forget” everything you did in the morning.
Ted Cruz: Tequila Sunrise
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Calls this drink, “the picture-perfect American sunrise without all those nasty immigrants,” overlooking the fact that it’s made with Latin tequila and that he himself is an immigrant.
Jeb Bush: Screwdriver
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Not really sure if you want to get drunk or kick the cold that you feel coming on. You feel pressured by your friends, and family to stay out and dance, but in the back of your head, you kind of just want to go home.
Sarah Palin: Tequila Shots
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Everyone knows you’re a bad idea and yet people chose you anyway. You seem exciting at first glance, but then you start offensively yelling “Olé!” after each shot.
Joe Biden: Hard Cider
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Like that cool uncle we all have, you’re hard yet soft at the same time. You make appearances at most family barbecues and gatherings, but can low-key get super drunk without warning.
Bill Clinton: Manhattan
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Southern at heart, you like whiskey, but in a more refined fashion. You’re very ambitious and thirsty for success. But that thirst can get you into trouble. Big trouble.
George W. Bush: Mulled Wine
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Who the hell even drinks this anymore? Everyone was forced to drink this for eight years and had an extremely weird and awful hangover after it. This wine is pretty outdated, yet the old, shabby soul might still unfortunately enjoy you.
Mitt Romney: Lemon Drop
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At an attempt to be serious, you demand, “Only use the top 1% of the top-shelf vodka!” while awkwardly and sadistically laughing to yourself.