To Deliver or to Pick Up Food for Finals Week in Champaign: An Existential Question

I think it’s time we all admit something to ourselves: we, college students, have pretty much mastered the art of living like lazy mofos. The biggest aspect in life that college kids tend to overexert their laziness (enjoy this irony, son) is definitely procuring and eating food.

With the magic of Grubhub on my side, I’m here to help you through the ultimate “delivery v. pick up” struggle. Use this guide to ordering the next time you question whether or not you’re physically capable of walking to a restaurant to pick up food. You can even use the promo code “UIUCyummm” to get $7 off of your first order of $15 or more.

Scenario #1: The Extra Roommate

You arrive home after a long day of classes. You know your roommate’s SO is visiting and you see a sock on your dorm room’s door handle… Turn around and march your little butt out of there because you are picking up a Joe’s burger and eating it on the Quad tonight. Drown your traumatized sorrows away with extra fries. If you’re still too shell-shocked to return, hit up Papa D’s for a second helping of the world’s greatest cheese fries.

Scenario #2: The Hangover

After a bangin’ Senior Night at Kam’s, you wake up with a severely dehydrated and damaged body that can only be cured by two things: water and pizza. You already left most of your dignity on the dance floor last night, so you don’t even need to feel guilty for getting Antonio’s mac and cheese pizza and (no shame, you just like options) Rosati’s magical ‘za and mysterious “red sauce” delivered straight to your couch.

Scenario #3: The Healthy Eater

With less than a month to go before graduation, you realize that your family won’t really appreciate your beer bod as much as you do. You decide to turn your life around and start living that #healthylyfe. A nice brisk walk down Green Street to Which Wich to order a veggie sandwich is exactly what your beer gut needs. Just try to avoid the amazing shakes. And while you’re on Green Street, stop by Sushi Rock for some Omega-3 rich sushi. Damn, you’re healthy.

Scenario #4: The Third Date

So you’ve been talking to this girl for a few weeks now and your first two dates (happy hour at Joe’s, obvi) have been pretty spectacular. It’s time to really show how cultured you are by inviting her over to your apartment for some sushi and stimulating conversation. Get a few Rainbow Rolls from KoFushion delivered to your freshly Febrezed apartment and let the good times… well… roll. If you really want to impress your boo thang, order a few cupcakes from Cream & Flutter and pour some sugar on your sugar.

Scenario #5: The Drunk Eater

As you stumble out of Red Lion after a successful 7+ hours in the beer garden, you immediately set your sights on the beautiful glowing sign of Wingin’ Out and release your inhibitions. You’re literally a hop, skip and jump away from dozens of wings and waffle fries. This is also the only acceptable time for you to eat Fat Sandwich, so you better take advantage. Run, Forrest, run.

Scenario #6: The Professional

You like to consider yourself a master of ordering delivery and have your go-to Chambana restaurants/orders at the ready at all times. Sometimes, however, you like to shake things up, and tonight is one of those nights. Go a little wild — but not so wild that you move from your couch — and order some Azzip Pizza. Get this bad boy delivered so you can channel all of your energy into creating the best custom pizza ever.

#SpoonTip: If you really want to mix things up, order the garlic naan and samosas from Bombay Indian Grill and prepare to have your world rocked.

Scenario #7: The Sugar Rush

Halfway through an excruciatingly long night of studying, you realize that you need a break from the depressing decór of the UGL before you lose your damn mind. You aimlessly start strolling along Wright Street, taking in as much fresh air as possible, and suddenly you find yourself stumbling into the tiny, heavenly establishment that is Insomnia Cookies. You order a few (dozen) cookies and scarf down half before you even leave the bakery. Why not add a caffeine high to finish out the night? Swing by Latea Bubble Tea Lounge before you head back to the library and crank out those last few hours of homework.

Scenario #8: The “Home-Cooked” Meal

After months of surviving on Easy Mac and Ramen, you realize your body needs some comfort food. Of course, you’re not going to make this yourself, so you turn to Za’s delicious Italian cuisine to satisfy your cravings for grandma’s cooking. You find yourself spending so much time deciding what to order between the custom-made pizzas, pastas and salads that you simply just don’t have the energy to pick up your food. Throw in a piece of a tiramisu and treat yoself to some Italian delivery.

#SpoonTip: If you’re feeling extra down and in need of some hella comfort food, hit up D. P. Dough and order yourself a “Double Play with Cookies.” Two calzones and three cookies. #blessup

For all of your Grubhubbin’ needs, I’ve got you covered. You can receive $7 off your first order of $15+ at any Grubhub participating restaurant by using the code “UIUCyummm.” You’re welcome.