Dating apps are so ubiquitous that for those new to the scene, choosing the right one induces the same kind of anxiety as ordering off a dinner menu. To help you better understand the dating app options available to you, we’ve compared them to something we all know a decent amount about… Food.
Tinder
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Tinder is probably the flakiest dating app on the app market, so obviously it’d be a croissant. You’re initially judging people by their appearance, and it’s unlikely that you’ll ever meet one of your matches. However, it’s super-satisfying (like a croissant) to match with someone who thinks you’re kinda cute too.
Hinge
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Hinge lets you meet potential dates through your friends. It’s like a platter of nachos. Sometimes you grab a chip and find out it’s connected to five other chips, like you and your summer camp boyfriend’s middle school classmate. And like those same nachos at a party, they’ve probably been touched by someone you know.
Bumble
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Bumble is a lot like Tinder, but the girls have to message their matches first. It’s like eating a steak: it’s stereotypically masculine (WTF, right?) but we ladies love it too, and guys think it’s sexy for a girl to make the first move.
JSwipe
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Contrary to popular opinion, you don’t have to be Jewish to enjoy swiping on JSwipe. When you make a profile and select what form of Judaism you identify with, non-Jews can select “willing to convert.” Babka is similar; it has Jewish roots, but you don’t have to be Jewish to eat it, because it’s damn good.
OkCupid
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If you’ve ever made an OkCupid profile, you know how f*cking annoying it is. You basically write a novel about yourself, including information like what you’re doing with your life (I’m sorry but does ANYONE know?!) and your favorite books, movies, music and food. We’ve never made beef bourguignon, but we imagine it’s just about as complicated as creating the perfect OkCupid profile.
Thrinder
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Thrinder is for singles and couples seeking a threesome (or just a date with two other people). While not everyone is wild about a ménage à trois, some people love it, and everyone has an opinion on the matter. Thrinder is like black licorice: You either love it or hate it, and a lot of people haven’t even tried it.
Grindr
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Grindr is for guys. It’s like the eggplant emoji. Duh.