The glorious day is upon us. The day we have waited 364 long days for has come back around. Another day for us to wake up famished and craving all of Thanksgivings wonders just to end that same night laying on the floor, stuffed, and unable to move an inch because the food has consumed our bodies.
Here are the simple stages of how you progress into a ball of food throughout Thanksgiving day:
You wake up already feeling like a champion.
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This is the day your stomach has trained all year for and you’re ready to rock and roll.
You shower and make sure to put on the pants that give your waist area a little leeway.
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Because you’re planning ahead, of course.
You eat your breakfast.
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There are still hours standing in between you and your turkey. So you eat a bowl of cereal or something, but you know it won’t be nearly as good as what’s coming your way.
You waste the next few hours hovering in the kitchen.
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This time is spent rushing the turkey and the people cooking it.
You begin to daydream about the turkey.
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While you’re daydreaming about the food, you make conversation with your family. It’s just really hard to stay focused with the scents floating throughout the house.
You continue waiting and salivating.
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Because even though it’s only a few more minutes away, it feels like years.
The time is finally upon us.
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The turkey has been basted and cooked, the potatoes have been mashed and it seems as though your life is finally coming together.
You eat and eat and eat…
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…and eat some more.
And your stomach starts to hurt, but it’s way too good to stop now.
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You realize this might be a good time to stop, but it probably isn’t going to happen.
Suddenly your pants get a little tighter and your stomach feels like it just might explode.
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Good thing you put on those stretchy pants.
You take a break and pass out on the couch into a massive food coma.
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The coma is real.
You awake feeling like a livelier, better version of yourself.
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The power of a nap is a beautiful thing.
And you hear the words “dessert” and “pie” so you get your life together and head right back into that dining room.
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Let’s be honest, you weren’t ready to separate from food that soon.
Then you find yourself back in the same position you were before your nap, so you call it quits for the night.
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You figure you’ll give yourself 364 days to recuperate.
So when next year rolls around, you’re refreshed and ready to do it all over again.
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