Cooking competition shows are like the female equivalent to a professional football games. Instead of Monday Night Football, it’s Monday Night MasterChef. Sport fans scream at the TV when that perfect pass is fumbled and throw fits when their team loses. Cooking competition fans yell when somebody drops the secret ingredient on the floor and are on the verge of tears when their favorite competitor is sent home.
So here’s the definitive ranking of cooking competition shows, as determined by avid viewers who may or may not recreate multiple versions of these shows in their apartments just for fun:
11. Cutthroat Kitchen
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Every episode of this series seems like pure torture for the poor contestants. With sabotages like miniature kitchens and DIY aluminum foil pans, the concept of cooking delicious looking food is out this window.
Not only is this show cruel and unusual punishment for the chefs, but the winner ends up walking away with little to no money because they spent it all on sabotaging other competitors. Now that’s just depressing.
10. Worst Cooks in America
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As much as we love Anne Burrell, this show is just too painful to watch. I mean, how can somebody possibly be that awful at cooking?
Click here for some of the craziest moments and dishes in Worst Cooks in America history.
9. The Next Food Network Star
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You can tell who the finalists are going to be about 45 minutes into the first episode. Sadly, the majority of winners in the past 11 seasons have not gone onto Food Network fame.
Believe it or not, this is where Guy Fieri made it big after his season 1 win which may be one of the only positive endings this show has had.
8. Cupcake Wars
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First of all, this is not a war. It’s a show about baking cupcakes. The French judge is overly harsh and makes me want to cry for the poor bakers and the host cracks the cheesiest jokes possible that make me die a little on the inside.
Overall, the cupcakes look delicious and the displays in the end are impressive, but the show tends to be more annoying than entertaining.
7. Holiday Baking Championship
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Nothing will get you in the Christmas spirit quite like this show does. It’s festive, fun, and will make you want to bake a spread of Christmas cookies, gingerbread houses, and yule logs.
If you like HBC, then you’ll love Food Network’s spin off series — Spring Baking Championship and Halloween Baking Championship.
6. Hell’s Kitchen
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This show brings out Gordon Ramsey’s alter ego, who enjoys swearing and screaming until he can no longer speak. You can hardly understand what is going on when every other word is *BEEP* this and *BEEP* that. Not to mention, the chefs make the same three dishes show after show. Give me some variety, people.
Overall, I just get major anxiety every time I watch the show, but hey — if you enjoy yelling, swearing, beef wellington, and tears, this is definitely the show for you.
5. Iron Chef America
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This puppy is the original gangsta of all cooking competition shows. It’s extremely cheesy, but in the best way possible. Alton Brown is witty and the Iron Chefs are badass af.
When you’re looking for a Food Network throwback, pull up a chair and in the words of the chairman — “with an open heart and an empty stomach, I say unto you in the words of my Uncle… ALE CUISINE!”
4. Chopped
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Food Network has produced some spin off series, but nothing can top the original Chopped. It’s fast-paced fun with a host who is the most likeable dude around. I mean, what’s not to love about Ted Allen?
Not to mention seasons 1 and 2 are now available on Netflix. Brb, gotta go get my binge watch on.
3. MasterChef Junior
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Watch this show and you’ll feel exponentially worse about yourself and your culinary capabilities. 10 year old kids whip up stunning beef wellingtons and perfect crème brulee in just 60 minutes without breaking a sweat while I’m over here burning my instant ramen.
2. MasterChef
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This show pins amateur chefs against each other in entertaining pastry and savory challenges full of unexpected twists. The set and cinematography are incredible and Graham Elliot and Gordon Ramsay are some of the most lovable judges on television.
If you’re a huge MasterChef fan, make sure to visit Graham Elliot’s restaurant, GE Bistro, next time you’re in the Chicago area.
1. Top Chef
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This Emmy and James Beard Award winning show is all about food, food, and more food. Say goodbye to the usual annoying drama of reality TV competition shows and hello to pure culinary genius.
Make sure to check out the newest season, Top Chef Road Trip, premiering this December on Bravo. I promise you won’t be disappointed.