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Lifestyle

9 Ways You Get Poorer Once You Turn 21

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at Brandeis chapter.

No doubt 21-hood is your life reaching a pinnacle. You can finally go bar-hopping with your friends sans your fake ID and concomitant anxiety attacks as you wait in line for ruination (i.e. denial by the prick who works college night at your school’s go-to bar).

You don’t torment your upperclassmen friends for alcohol anymore, you don’t go postal if you’re lacking booze on Friday night at 8 pm. Alhough acquiring alcohol becomes 21x easier, this stress that beset your late underaged self doesn’t really disappear. It travels to your wallet.

1. Dinner Drinks

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

As a 21-year-old at a restaurant you might think: if I can, why shouldn’t I drink? Well, because dinner drinks are a huge reason why your legal ass is poor. YOU DON’T NEED THEM. a) Drinking while eating is pretty counterproductive unless you’re pounding shots. Most people sip on a cocktail with their entrée. WASTE. b) You fill up between the food and the booze, and it’s kind of a struggle to rally post gluttony. YOU’LL STILL DO IT. #committed

2. “Spotting” People at the Liquor Store

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

You feel cool doing it at first. AT FIRST. But when you’re always the friend sent to the liquor store out of your twenty-first-century friend group (what’s hard cash?) you too often end up spotting people.

3. Impromptu Drinking

Gif courtesy of buzzfeed.com

Gif courtesy of buzzfeed.com

Before you didn’t have trouble-free access to liquor stores/bars, the feasibility, and so likelihood, of spontaneously drinking was low.

Well… Now it’s high. Sorry to those who have extremely persuasive friends. You will probably be drinking daily.

4. Bar Life

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Unfortunately, once you turn 21 you go to fewer overpopulated house parties (with complimentary jungle juice) and to more bars.

This is actually an extremely unfavorable evolution in regards to your social life, mainly because bars are not meant for broke college students, nor are they meant for rough and wild collegiate behavior. Sure you can get rowdy at a bar, but it’s just not the same. Where’s the keg stand? Why isn’t anyone chugging straight from their bottle? Why do I get kicked out if i poor a beer on myself? Got away with it one time — THERE’S HOPE.

5. Upgrading Your Liquor of Choice

Gif courtesy of weheartit.com

Gif courtesy of weheartit.com

Before 21 when you weren’t exposed to the seduction that is limitless alleys of pretty liquor you were fine with $10 handles of hand sanitizer. Now, post-ignorance, you see that there are better things than Rubinoff… Nah just kidding.

If you want to be all 21-like, though, here are some drinks you should learn about.

6. Attending 21+ Events

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Booze cruises, bar crawls, whatever. Pay up.

7. Wardrobe Update

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

If you’re like me and you’re almost too low maintenance to be considered a member of the human race, this won’t apply to you. Otherwise, once you turn legal you might go do a lil’ shopping. Or maybe you’ll consistently start buying more expensive clothing, especially if you’re one of those people who, facially, will always look 5-years-old.

8. Boozy Brunch (…and now please enjoy this kind of unrelated GIF of Big Ang)

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Once you’re 21, going to brunch and getting crunk is IN. Not at breakfast. Not at lunch. Just at brunch. Seriously though, I hate the word brunch.

9. Buying All Your Friends Drinks

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

21 and out with good friends has you feelin’ maaddddd drenerous (drunk and generous). especially if you’re the most intoxicated of the group and you want the others to be on your level.

Niki Laskaris

Brandeis '16