The 90’s were fun. We had boy bands without irony, Lisa Frank, and the best freaking snacks. However, all good things must come to an end. With America’s latest bid to get healthy and the general decline of snack culture (that’s something we just made up), some of our favorite treats have become a thing of the past. However, some of our favorite lunchtime vices are still available in grocery stores. Plus, if you get creative and scour Amazon, you should be able to find the rest (we’re looking at you, Dunkaroos).
When you do get your hands on some nostalgic deliciousness, make sure you bring some adulthood to your snacking by moderating your portions drinking wine. We’ve crafted our favorite wine/90’s snack pairings for your enjoyment. Sit back, shed a tear for the greater times, and get hungry.
Pink Moscato & Dunkaroos
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Dunkaroos were arguably the best snack of the 90’s. Though they take some work to procure today, we argue that it’s well worth it. The cloying icing needs a wine equally sweet to match, so reach for Moscato. Why pink Moscato? Um, because that’s so much more fun. And you can make your own Dunkaroos dip if you’re feeling crazy.
Chianti & French Bread Pizza
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French bread pizza still counts as pizza, so it needs the best pizza wine around. Italian Chianti is a great fit. Feel free to bring the basket. Don’t have French bread? No biggie, make it on focaccia from Trader Joe’s for cheap.
Photo by Megan Prendergast
Chardonnay & Dino Chicken Nuggets
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Let’s face it: chicken nuggets just taste better when they’re shaped like animals that aren’t chicken. The buttery breading of dino nuggets is an ideal mate for Chardonnay. The more oaked, the better. And if you’re tired of your old chicken nuggets, amp ’em up like this.
Twinkies & Orange Wine
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Here’s our Twinkie defense: the colors just match. It’s too good to pass up. Make your own Twinkies if you’re too terrified of that whole 20-year expiration thing.
Bologna Cheese Sammie & Malbec
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The combination of sweet bologna and savory cheese needs a wine that’s both assertive and has some sweet, chocolatey undertones. Bring in the Malbec for this classic lunch entree.
Pinot Noir & Pizza Bagels
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As these are technically pizza (and they’re usually quite saucy), we’d recommend a red wine. However, Pinot Noir is particularly good choice because it’s light enough for these tiny bread balls.
Sweet Riesling & Go-Gurt
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Go-Gurt is definitely sweet (sorry moms, it’s full of sugar), but it’s also tangy. You need a wine with a little acidity and zing to pair with the tartness. Go for sweet Riesling.
Sauvignon Blanc & String Cheese
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Like string cheese, Sauvignon Blanc is light, but a little funky. These two go hand in hand.
Merlot & PB And J Sammie
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While peanut butter is robust, jelly is fruity. Merlot is a great wine for everyone’s favorite sandwich, because it’s got lots of big fruit without being overly sour or sweet. And if you wanna cut down on the carbs (#adultlife), try these ways to eat PB&J without the bread.
Photo by Nicole Goldfarb
Zinfandel & Lunchables
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What do Lunchables and Zinfandel have in common? Luscious, rich flavor. Don’t believe us? Picture this: buttery crackers with salty cheese and sweet meat. That’s a Lunchable. It’s practically luxurious. Here’s how to make your own Lunchables so you can feel like you’re back in elementary school.
Photo by Lily Lou