Spoon University Logo
cheese 000008808279Large
cheese 000008808279Large
Lifestyle

If the 2016 Presidential Candidates Were Cheese

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at American chapter.

As announcements for presidential campaigns are released left and right, keeping track of who is who can get tricky. To make things easy, we’ve created this cheat sheet comparing each of 2016 candidates to a type of cheese.

You can memorize this list and utilize it to impress others with your political aptitude, or you can read it because you just love cheese.

1. Democrat Hillary Clinton: Parmesan

presidential

Photo courtesy of wikipedia.com and virginiahamshop.com

Parmesan only gets better with age. It’s firm and never crumbles, and seems to be a fan favorite, just like our girl Hillary. Plus, think about how many different meals need parmesan. Clinton, too, is extremely versatile and has been widely involved in the world of politics.

2. Republican Marco Rubio:

presidential

Photo courtesy of theyucatantimes.com and inglesgourmet.com

Pepper jack is subtle, but always has a kick. Rubio is considered “moderate” by some, but certainly has firm opinions on popular topics. A smooth talker, Rubio may seem warm, but don’t forget that Pepper Jack is made with chile peppers.

3. Republican Ted Cruz: Sharp Cheddar

presidential

Photo courtesy of usatoday.com and goldenagecheese.com

Cruz, like sharp cheddar, always delivers exactly what you expect. An American classic, sharp cheddar is strong, tangy and true to its name, much like this traditionally Republican candidate. Cruz reflects conservative ideals and probably won’t have any new ideas to surprise us.

4. Democrat Joe Biden: Brie

presidential

Photo courtesy of epictimes.com and foodphotos.com

We probably don’t even have to explain this one. Brie is creamy enough to be spread onto any cracker and so soft, it can be completely molded by hand. Although Biden said, “Honest to God, I haven’t made up my mind,” in response to his candidacy, there is no doubt that if he runs, his campaigning platform may be easily influenced.

5. Republican Rand Paul: Feta

presidential

Photo courtesy of blaze.com and freeimageslive.com

Feta cheese is an acquired taste to say the least. This speciality curd has a strong flavor; each bite is filled with a salty explosion. Similar to feta cheese, Paul has a powerful personality and is campaigning on the platform of “restoring liberty,” which is off-putting to some. Let’s put it this way, feta can be a bit much.

Now you’ve got a new way of remembering all of the 2016 presidential candidates. Whether you like a bold, sharp, or smooth flavor, there’s a cheese and a candidate for you.

Want more cheesy suggestions?

Spoon University Placeholder Avatar
Madeline White

American '18