Considering that my parents own and manage a restaurant for a living, it’s probably not that surprising to hear that growing up, food has always been a huge part of my life. Whether it was trying new recipes from my dad, scarfing down fruit from my mom, or eating at different places all around New York City together, food played a vital role in not only my daily life, but also the relationships within my life.
In Chinese culture, words aren’t necessarily used much to show affection as much as actions are. I could count on one hand the amount of times I’ve exchanged an “I love you” with any member of my family. Of course, that doesn’t mean that we don’t love each other. With my parents, their way of showing affection was always through a warm meal followed by a fresh bowl of fruit after a long day at the restaurant. My dad would cook a traditional Chinese meal once they got home and my mom would bring a bowl of sliced fruit to my door after dinner.
My first time cooking a meal was in fourth grade; I made a singular, ugly fried egg. I remember how intimidating our electric stovetop had been, and honestly, I knew nothing about any cooking techniques at the time. I just recall breaking an egg into the pan, struggling to flip it after a couple minutes, and seasoning with the slightest amount of salt and pepper. Nonetheless, I was proud of it. And as I grew older, my love for cooking only grew more fond. With my parents’ long work days, I had a lot of opportunities to experiment and cook different meals throughout the day.
I’ve discovered recently that my ability to cook wasn’t the only way I took after my parents. I cooked for my girlfriend for the first time on a trip down the Jersey shore with some friends this past summer. I fired up a few New York strip steaks for everyone on the grill at our Airbnb. And while it felt great seeing everyone enjoy the meal, it felt especially great to have been able to do that for them. Food is something that I have such an appreciation for, and sharing that with them allowed me to show my friends how much I appreciated them.
Now, I find myself jumping at the opportunity to make a drink or a meal for my girlfriend. Whether it’s a cup of coffee in the morning, instant ramen on those nights we don’t feel like going to the dining hall, or the occasional steak dinner, being able to cook for my girlfriend is one of my favorite ways to show how much I love her.
Suddenly, it made so much sense why my parents still found the energy to cook dinner even after exhausting days working at the restaurant. While I’m more than capable of cooking myself dinner at home, my parents still did it every night because that’s how they showed their love for me.
In college now, I’ve found that I’ve become somewhat of the designated cook for my friend group. The day after Halloween, I cooked steak and pasta for everyone in the common room kitchen so they can recover a little from the crazy night before. On our trip to Vermont, I grilled burgers and hot dogs for dinner and cooked blueberry pancakes and scrambled eggs the morning after. These past weeks, I’ve stained multiple shirts figuring out how to cut a pomegranate for my girlfriend and her roommate.
Despite it all, I will never ever complain of having to cook for the people in my life. My parents showed me how food is a love language in itself, and by cooking for my friends, I am able to express my love for them. And with March being Women’s History Month, there is no better way to show appreciation for the mothers, the girlfriends, the wives, the daughters, and all the more in our lives than by sharing a nice warm meal with them.