Guys, at least there’s pizza.
Is the world crazy? Yes. Are we insanely busy? Most likely. Do we have to do hard things? Yes. But, let me reiterate.
At least we have pizza.
Whether or not you’re a pizza-lover, you have to admit it has an occasionally unmatched ability to calm the nervous system, beautifully marrying simplicity and satiability. It often combines every food group – carbs, protein, dairy and fruits/veggies – to create a relatively balanced meal which makes it a little easier to ignore all of the grease and cholesterol. A perfectly well-rounded, good slice makes one feel absolutely content.
I’m sure when I bring up the name Dave Portnoy, you know how he plays into all of this. A self-proclaimed pizza connoisseur, he has been ranking pizza joints around the world for years. His One Bite Pizza sector of Barstool Sports has become a major voice in the food media industry, building up and tearing down countless restaurants.
Whether or not it’s reasonable for one man to have so much power, much less for it to be as controversial a character as Dave Portnoy, is questionable. Especially since he is one person with one mouth and doesn’t represent the diverse tastes of the population. At the end of the day, we have to ask ourselves, should we trust his opinion?
I asked this question one day while visiting a 9.4 rated pizza restaurant on the Portnoy Scale in Raritan, NJ, called DeLucia’s Brick Oven Pizza. This is one of the pizzerias that saw an intense boom after Portnoy’s high ranking. Tied for second place in the One Bite Pizza list (only behind Portnoy’s hometown pizzeria), this is the highest ranking it could conceivably receive, making it a must-go for the pizza-loving Barstool followers.
After the review, DeLucia’s had lines out the door for months as people waited 2+ hours to get their hands on a slice. They’ve sold out of their full supply of pizza almost every day since. Coming into possession of such pizza was still a difficult task for us four years after its publishing.
We called as soon as the place opened at 11:30. The first call went to a busy signal immediately, and not until around 57 calls later were we answered by an employee ready to take our order of one cheese, one sausage & pepperoni, and one margarita pizza.
The cheese was a requirement because of its use in the One Bite rankings, and the other two are favorite flavors of my family and I. We set our reservation for 4:30 and made our way to the small town of Raritan, NJ. A quaint town in the middle of nowhere NJ, this seemed to be the perfect home for an old-fashioned pizza joint. Parking outside this restaurant was difficult due its position right off the town’s major road and lack of parking lot, but after a short walk we made it to the restaurant.
Stepping inside transported me to my home in South Dakota. It closely resembled a cafe in my grandparents’ town of 100 people– quaint, casual, and straight from the 60’s, with wood-paneled walls, classic Coca-Cola bottle fridges, and simple furniture and decor. Sitting down at our little table felt like a nice warm hug from centuries of pizza-lovers past.
After a short wait, our pizza arrived. The first I tried was the cheese, of course. And guys, I have to say Dave Portnoy is right. That is some of the best pizza I’ve ever eaten in my life. Now let me tell you why.
The first notable characteristic was of course the undercarriage. In the wise words of Dave, “the undercarriage [was] to die for.” It was stable enough to hold the weight of the sauce and cheese on top, and as soon as I bit in I tasted the crunchy/supple dichotomy that my mouth agreed with so well. After experiencing that lovely texture, the richness of the cheese took over. As a dark chocolate enthusiast, the best comparison I can make to the depth and richness of this cheese is to a great piece of dark chocolate. Since it’s cheese though, I think even non-dark-chocolate lovers will enjoy this excellent flavor. The sauce to cheese ratio was delightfully cheese heavy with just enough sauce.
Speaking of sauce, let’s move to the margarita, where the sauce shined brighter than a full moon on a clear night in a light-pollutionless sky. This sauce was stellar. Its flavor is oregano heavy and the quality of every ingredient is just simply palpable. The mozzarella ball application was minimalist, but frankly, they knew me better than I knew myself. I thought I’d have wanted more but it was just enough that I was satisfied but just sparse enough to keep each bite special. Genuinely an emotional experience.
Finally, the sausage & pepperoni. This one was yet again insanely high quality. The pepperoni was the best pepperoni I’ve ever tasted. Not too spicy but very brightly flavored, it added to the complexity of the pizza. Then, the sausage. Also delicious– my dad thought it was the best he’d had of that as well– I was impressed by the quality, but adding this ingredient made the flavor profile a little too crowded for my simple palate. Still delicious for those who love a meaty slice, this is a great option. However, I missed the depth of the cheese and sauce with all of these extra flavors.
Overall, these pizzas were some of the best I’ve ever had, and growing up in a household where pizza was a weekly (sometimes more) meal, I’ve had quite a few pizzas in my life. I suppose Portnoy has me beat on quantity, but I think his assessment was fair for the average pizza lover. It’s definitely safe to say that if you find yourself within 100 miles of Raritan, NJ, this should be a definitive stop.
