We’ve all heard the old adage: “You are what you eat.” But have any of us ever truly taken this advice to heart? Everyone knows that eating carrots won’t turn you into a carrot. And sadly, eating Blake Lively will not help you transform into her (trust us, we’ve tried).
But perhaps our perspective has been too limited.
Behold, the newest fad diet: You Are What You Eat, Literally (often referred to as “going YAWYEL” by its devoted cult following). But this is more than just a diet—it is a lifestyle change rooted in positivity and optimism. By focusing solely on foods with names that sound super great, and eliminating those with icky pessimistic connotations, you will begin to feel like a whole new person!
Here are some helpful examples to get you started on your journey to a more uplifting relationship with food.
POSITIVE FOODS:
Italian Wedding Soup
Looking for love? Into Italian dudes? This ballsy staple should be your dinner tonight! (While you eat, practice visualizing getting hitched to your one true amore.)
Whoopie Pie
Whoopee, pie! It’s a cookie and a celebration, all in one. You’ll be cheering for more.
Hero Sandwich
Everyone needs a hero sometimes; no one ever said it had to be a person. This sandwich is here to save your life by flying directly at your face hole. No cape necessary.
Quaker Oats
Give some meaning to your self-professed pacifism by eating soggy pilgrim grains for breakfast. This is what piety tastes like. Get used to it.
Ketchup
Don’t fall behind! And always use a condiment. (Get it?!)
NEGATIVE FOODS:
Rocky Road Ice Cream
Rocky roads may be the roads less traveled, but then the rocks will get stuck in your shoes and you’ll curse yourself for trying to be “alternative.” This ice cream, though deceptively delicious-looking, sounds like a depressing journey through the mud.
Bleu Cheese
It has sadness right there in the name. It also sounds like something that happened in a food porno (not the same as #foodporn). You’re classier than that.
Caesar Salad
You know Caesar got stabbed, right?
Clif Bar
A cliff and a bar are two places where you will inevitably hit rock bottom. Avoid at all costs.
If the “You Are What You Eat, Literally” diet isn’t for you, educate yourself on these other trends: