The next time you reach for your second, third, fourth slice of pizza, you might want to consider how your slice reflects your personality. Whether you’re a folder or a no-cruster, your style of devouring this fare is a crystal ball into your true nature.
Type 1: The Plain Jane
The Plain Jane plays by the rules. A single slice with zero to mild folding signals, “hey, my favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla and I read to my Grandma over Skype every Friday night.”
Tried and true, the PJ is stable and will never go out of style, it’s the boyfriend jeans of pizza-eating styles.
Type 2: The Bold Fold
The bold fold, abbreviated to BF, turns an average slice into one with intrigue. Bold folders are an inconspicuous bunch walking down the street, but have quirks to them that only close friends get to see. Typical BF behavior includes playing the oboe with one hand, speaking at least three languages and quoting cult classics.
Type 3: The Stack Attack
Close the blinds and hide your loved ones, for the stack attacker is near. This pizza personality needs to get double the cheesy layers of pizza bliss in one bite in order to quell its hankering.
The world of eating one slice at a time is too limiting to these pioneers of pizza. You can expect stackers to happily accept a dare to jump off a roof into a pile of snow or tempt a wild bear with jerky. An entertaining bunch, stackers are the life of any party, and probably hold many keg-stand records across this great city.
Type 4: The Crust-o-phobic
The crust-o-phobic is a go-getter with goals and dreams, none of them including the crust on their pizza. This pizza personality has a color-coded planner, runs their club meetings like a boss, and graciously declines an extra serving of dessert.
Crust-o-phobics make great partners for the stack attackers who are probably still hungry after devouring the whole pie in a few minutes.
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