After graduating and moving back home from Rutgers University — where the closest Dunkin’ tasted like sewage water — I’m thrilled to report my hometown Dunkin’ still hits like crack. Not that I’ve done crack, because I haven’t. That’s just a euphemism chronically online Dunkin’ fans use but you probably have no idea what I’m talking about, so now I’m mortified.
Anyway, Dunkin’s second summer menu has been teased by @markie_devo on Instagram and it’s loaded with reasons to drop at least $5 on your way to your internship or that summer camp (sweatshop) you swore you’d never work at again. From iced coffee innovations to sweet, seasonal treats, it’s an alleged lineup made for work commutes, vacation spots, and pool-side afternoons.
Ice cream for breakfast? Groundbreaking.
Let’s start with what might be the most unhinged and delightful part of the menu: the melted ice cream frozen coffees. The Cookie Dough Frozen Coffee is basically a caffeine milkshake made with cookie dough swirl, whipped cream, and mocha drizzle and topped with actual waffle cone pieces. Then, there’s the Mint Chocolate Chip Frozen Coffee, which goes full green girl summer (regardless of the matcha shortage) with minty syrup, caramel drizzle, and even more waffle cone action. And if you’re living for your butter pecan era, the Butter Pecan Frozen Coffee delivers, loaded with buttery swirl and enough toppings to make you forget you still haven’t unpacked your dorm decorations from school.
Refreshers so pretty you’ll forgive them for melting in five minutes.
If you prefer your caffeine with less whipped cream, Dunkin’s supposed new refreshers could be here to carry the season. The Strawberry Dream Dunkin’ refresher is giving coastal girl summer — made with strawberry dragonfruit, creamy oat milk, and sweet cold foam for a pastel-pink drink moment.
I imagine the Energy Mixologist lineup was invented by a college kid trying to troop through their minimum wage job from high school. The Cherry Berry Twist mixes arctic cherry and berry burst syrup in a flavor combination that tastes like a fast-talking slushie. Peach Cherry Twist subs berry for peach sunshine, for something fruitier and — dare I say — classier.
And just when you thought Dunkin’ couldn’t possibly come up with another fruity combination, July brings the Blueberry Breeze Refresher, which fuses blueberry and juniper berry with your choice of green tea, lemonade, or sparkling water. That’s your “I need to sit in the sun and journal” drink. Then there’s the Golden Hour Refresher — strawberry dragonfruit, mango pineapple, and tart lemonade — which tastes like if your favorite sunset had a flavor.
Actual food because you can’t just drink syrup all day!
This summer’s potential savory options are trying their best, and honestly? They might win. The Chipotle Hash Brown Wake-Up Wrap is a full meal disguised as a wrap: bacon, egg, cheese, three crispy hashbrowns, and a smokey chipotle aioli that gives it personality. There’s also a Braided Apple Pie that looks like it belongs in a bakery window and a Ham & Cheese Croissant Stuffer that’s basically a love letter to melted swiss (I hope it’s not addressed to me, though).
There’s also a $5 meal deal if you’ve also been yelled at by a parent for stopping at a Dunkin’ while having food at home. You’ll apparently get a medium hot or iced coffee and any two wake-up wraps. That’s one (1) adult decision made before 9 a.m.
Download the app, trust me.
App-exclusive items would go off this year. There’s definitely some supposed chaotic genius in the Mint Chocolate Chip Signature Latte, the Cookie Dough Cold Foam Iced Coffee, and even a Bacon Egg & Cheese Bagel with Chipotle Aioli, if you’re into high-stakes breakfast sandwiches.
Red, white & glazed
If seasonal donuts are your thing, mark the mysterious June 25 on your calendar. That’s when Dunkin’ will supposedly drop its Star Spangled Donut — a star-shaped shell filled with vanilla buttercream and covered in blue icing and patriotic sprinkles. It’s festive. It’s extra. It will definitely melt in your car before the fireworks.
What’s consistent, however, is the iconic Summer Beach Munchkin Bucket, returning to stuff 40-something donut holes into an aggressively adorable pail. Collect them. Trade them. Pretend you’re getting them for “your little cousins.” Really hoping this one’s for real. My bucket from 2009 needs to retire.
TL; DR: It’s a sugar-fueled summer and I’m scared (in the best way possible)
Dunkin’ really said this summer is about caffeine, chaos, and at least three different types of syrups in your cup. Whether you’re going for nostalgia, novelty, or just trying to stay awake during your summer calc class, there’s probably something on this menu that’ll make life feel sweet — even if your internship is unpaid.