Milk’s Favorite Cookie was introduced to Americans by Nabisco in 1912. That’s over 100 years of having the privilege to twist open the sandwich, lick the cream and dunk the cookies in milk. However, in recent years, Nabisco has taken the cookie to a whole other level with its multiple variations.
For this article, I went on the Oreo website to see the flavors available right now and then I tried (almost) all of them. Below is the completely impartial, totally objective definitive ranking according to a one-hundo-p biased, very opinionated person.
17. Regular
This is controversial, but I stand by it. Does anyone buy these? They’re right next to the Double Stuffed which are the exact same price (I checked), which blatantly makes Regular an unintelligent choice. It comes down to economics: supply, demand, creme-to-cookie ratio. This is 100 level stuff.
Rating: 0/10
16. Lemon
These did not taste good. I was really looking forward to a lemon bar inspired cookie and it just fell short, really short. However, points for trying… it’s still an Oreo.
Rating: 2.1/10
15. Berry
I didn’t try these. I couldn’t do it after the Lemon ones. I’m assuming they’re on a similar level. A tenth of a point because the creme is a pretty color.
Rating: 2.2/10
14. Mega Stuf
I really wanted these to be good when they first came out, but the ratio is definitely off. Personally, I like to forget that Oreos are vegan, but you just can’t do that with this one. The creme is so in your face that you have to wonder, “What could this possibly be made of? Why did they drop the f at the end?”
Rating: 4.9/10
13. Thins
These were actually pretty good, but it’s more of a principle thing: why would you want less Oreo? Fun fact: there’s a whole section about Thins on the Oreo website.
Rating: 7.2/10
12. Chocolate Creme
Why is it spelled “creme”? See #14; there is no real cream in this. However, I’ll never complain about double chocolate.
Rating: 7.4/10
11. Triple Double
I was pumped when I saw these online. I had never seen them before. They’re like the Loch Ness Monster of Oreos deserving of binders of evidence of its existing a la Marshall Erikson, but, as good as they were, they did not reach the legend that I created for them in my head.
Rating: 7.7/10
10. Heads/Tails
One golden cookie, one chocolate cookie, one punny name. I’m into it.
Rating: 7.9/10
9. Pumpkin Spice
There are many basic things about me, but a love for pumpkin spice is not one of them. So, I was surprised about how much I liked these. The only way to describe it: they taste like Fall.
Rating: 8.1/10
8. Golden
These have become pretty basic as far as flavors go, but they still deserve to make the top ten. Point to the weirdos that don’t like chocolate.
Rating: 8.4
7. Cookie Dough
These came out my senior year of high school. I know it’s weird that I remember that, but I was pretty excited to try them. The creme doesn’t really taste like cookie dough, but the combination is still pretty good.
Rating: 8.6/10
6. Peanut Butter Creme
I love peanut butter and chocolate. I don’t eat jelly so I adapted my food pairing of choice early on in life. Not a Reese’s, but it does the trick.
Rating: 8.7/10
5. Golden Birthday Cake
I tried these the same day I tried the Cookie Dough flavor. I know it’s weird that I remember that too. I was, and still am, surprised I liked these better. Even if it is only by 0.3 of a point.
Rating: 8.9/10
4. Marshmallow Crispy
This is an extremely creative flavor. This is also an extremely delicious flavor.
Rating: 9.1/10
3. Mini
I have very fond memories of these in those plastic cups with the yellow to-go lid. Plus, mini things are cute.
Rating: 9.3/10
2. Mint Creme
These were unreal. I’m normally not a mint person and was a little taken aback by the unnatural color, but whoever works in R&D at Oreo did a hell of a job with this one.
Rating: 9.6/10
1. Double Stuf
I feel as if #17 made it pretty obvious this was coming, but I’m not wrong. The classic is a classic for a reason, but then they made it better! Milk’s Favorite Cookie. My favorite cookie.
Rating: 10/10
So there you have it. But Vandy students, you can form your own opinion on these flavors at Spoon Vandy’s Senses event. Come try Oreos and possibly win Batch gift cards in the Branscomb lobby at 7 PM on Sunday, November 8th.