We all have our own issues. Some people have issues with boys, or with homework. Some people deal with losing things or trying to remember where you put something. A lot of people struggle with remembering computer passwords, deciding what to order at restaurants and even figuring out how to get more money into their bank account. But, there is a certain group of special individuals who deal with the intense struggle of eating food every single day, messy eaters.
White pants are a hard no
Most people don’t wear white pants after labor day, but we just choose to never wear them. The hardest part about this is that they’re SO darn cute. Seriously tho- match those white jeans with a cute top and you can have any guy you want. Unfortunately for us, these pants would be a constant reminder of what it means to be a gorgeous disaster in the department of eating. Not to mention, the “serial killer” look isn’t really in this year.
Food is definitely an accessory
Wait what do you mean I can’t wear this noodle on my shirt? I don’t plan on leaving a meal unless I’ve made sure that I have accessorized my Vineyard Vines shirt with this gorgeous marinara sauce. Oh, you liked that breadstick?…Same. That’s why I’m wearing the butter on my sleeve. Watch out Lady Gaga, I might wear that meat dress better than you ever could (I just don’t wear it by choice).
We prefer to call them Big-Kid bibs. Yeah I was forced to stuff my shirt with a napkin until I was 18. It’s not my fault that food just loves falling out of my hands. I must say that we can rock the bib better than most 2 year olds can.
More napkins the merrier
Going to the grocery store is always just a trip to buy thousands of napkins. However, whenever I really need a napkin it always seems like there are none. My friends usually just set the napkin holder right next to me at meals. Every dining experience consists of building the Andes Mountains with the mound of napkins that you’ve collected on the table. You used 5? More like 500 for a messy eater.
Did you find them in your pockets today or hidden down your shirt? No matter how many times we try to lean over our plates its just guaranteed that those little pests are gonna find a way to cling onto us for dear life. I’d like to think of the crumbs as my friends because they’re really just trying to save me a snack for later.
Your food is always stuck in your teeth
Do you ever see that messy eater with a nasty green sprout sticking out of their lateral incisor? Or that poor child who does not know that she has multiple kernels of corn stuck in between her entire top layer of teeth. Hey, that’s me. No matter how hard we try we just can’t seem to get the food all the way down our throat, it has to get caught somewhere. Thank goodness for the friends who just tell ya like it is when you have food in your teeth.