Love comes in a variety of shapes, sizes, and flavors. With a little cynical sleuthing, it turns out there is the perfect dessert for every type of relationship in Harrisonburg.
For: A Committed Relationship- Cookie Skillet (O’Neills)
Congratulations, you’ve successfully navigated through the mysteries of the opposite sex and landed yourself a winner! Now go eat a cookie skillet (perfect for two) while the rest of us whisper “next year, next year for sure” to a cocktail (or eight).
For: A Recent Breakup- Madison Mud Pie (Macado’s)
You’re eating this dessert at the bar, and you’re not sharing. Keep busy by dissecting layers of ice-cream, cookie dough, brownie, whipped cream, and Oreo instead of dissecting exactly what went wrong with the relationship. Madison Mud “It’s Not You It’s Me” Pie for one please?
For: Single and Ready to Mingle- Fried Oreos (Jack Browns)
Setting the scene: hot bartender brings over the takeout box with the Oreos and starts shaking the powdered sugar. “Just say when”, he whispers. Caught in each other’s gaze, the room slowly fills with powdered sugar. The restaurant is evacuated due to glycemic capacity issues; you and the bartender promptly begin a steamy romance.
For: Single and Happy That Way- Milkshake (Cookout)
You are so indifferent about everyone flaunting their romance you can’t even be bothered to go out in public. Instead, I suggest rolling up to the drive through, selecting one of their 40+ choices of milkshakes, and getting on with your evening like the baller you are.
For: “We’re Just Talking, Nothing Serious”- Stowassers Campfire S’mores (Macado’s)
You need a dessert just as confused about its identity as you are about the status of your current relationship. S’mores is pretty much a dessert on it’s own. Throwing gobs of chocolate ice cream into the situation really only adds to the ambiguity. With every mouthful you continue to ask yourself, “why am I doing this…what are we…how did we get here..why is everything to sticky?”
For: “Valentines? More like Galentines”: Pretty Much Anything from (Cupcake Company)
From their everyday flavors to the daily specials, there is something to suite the palate of everyone in your squad. So raise your cupcake and salute yourselves for a day well spent.