You heard me. Queso. On. Everything.
In a press conference late last evening, CEOs Steve Ells of Chipotle and Timothy Case of Qdoba announced the companies plans to maintain Chipotle’s commitment to fresh, farm-raised ingredients, while incorporating the wider variety of menu options that Qdoba has to offer.
“I could not be more excited,” states Ells, “Now people can order queso on a burrito that doesn’t taste like shit.” Chipotle will also begin to honor the student discounts offered at Qdoba — so get that free soda with your ID, folks.
For now, all current restaurants will remain open as-is until further details are established. Both enterprises are still undecided whether to completely change the company name or stick with original branding.
When asked about future expansion plans, Case replied, “We’re highly satisfied with the current merger, but are also eagerly looking towards the future. I can’t revel any details yet, but you may start to see some dollar menu items from us soon.”
Why combine two Mexican restaurants, though? Wouldn’t an expansion into other food genres prove more financially beneficial? “It’s really quite simple,” says Ells, demonically laughing, “We’re going to make everyone addicted to our Mexican food first, then use our great customer loyalty in a strategically planned uprising to take over the world.”
By the way… it’s April Fools’ Day.