For some of us, politics is a serious business. We’re glued to CNN, we track the polls on our phones, and we’re subscribed to 20 different email lists. For others, it just makes for a fun drinking game. Take a shot every time Donald insults someone, chug whenever there’s a new Hillary email scandal.
However you decide to party (pun intended), we can at least agree on one thing: We all love ice cream. I scream, you scream, we all scream for policy… and ice cream. So here’s what some of the GOP candidates would look like as your fave Ben & Jerry’s flavors.
Donald Trump: Blondie Ambition
Photo courtesy of benandjerrys.com and Carlynn Crosby
Because Donald doesn’t want to be known as just a real estate developer and reality-show superstar. Blonde brownies and butterscotch don’t like to be called wannabes either.
Ted Cruz: Americone Dream
Photo Courtesy of benandjerrys.com and Carlynn Crosby
Because nothing says you’re makin’ it more than being a Canadian-born hopeful for the American presidency. Caramel swirl, Canadian swirl…what’s the diff?
Jeb Bush: Hazed & Confused
Photo Courtesy of benandjerrys.com and Carlynn Crosby
Because 40 years ago he smoked marijuana. And he admits it. Don’t believe me?
Carly Fiorina: Strawberry Not So Shortcake
Photo Courtesy of benandjerrys.com and Carlynn Crosby
Because she ain’t always cute and sweet. She packs a pretty punch, like the shortbread pieces in this pint.
Ben Carson: Everything But The…
Photo Courtesy of benandjerrys.com and Carlynn Crosby
Because as a neurosurgeon he’s done virtually everything to the human brain but sometimes forgets to use his own.
Chris Christie: Chubby Hubby
Photo Courtesy of benandjerrys.com and Carlynn Crosby
Because he can be real, real salty or real, real sweet, so this peanutty, fudge-covered pretzel butter swirl has his name all over it. Literally.
Marco Rubio: That’s My Jam
Photo Courtesy of benandjerrys.com and Carlynn Crosby
Because he can quote “modern-day poets” like Wiz Khalifa and Jay-Z, and at his core he is rap’s number one fan.
Mike Huckabee: Bovinity Divinity
Photo Courtesy of shopwell.com and Carlynn Crosby
Because he used to be a minister. And he has a thing for cows.
Rand Paul: What A Cluster
Photo Courtesy of benandjerrys.com and Carlynn Crosby
Because he’s one big clusterf*ck. And because cluster rhymes with filibuster (which is one thing he just LOOOOOOOVES).
Rick Santorum: Schweddy Balls
Photo Courtesy of benandjerrys.com and Carlynn Crosby
Because he wears lots of sweater vests, and that probably makes him hot. These malt balls would probably hate sweater vests.