We all thought that raiding our pantries at home after a basement party in high school was bad, but the truth is you didn’t really drunk eat (or munch) until you got to college.
From late night deliveries to ratchet gas station eats to waking up next to a bag of Doritos you frantically bought from the vending machine (guilty), the stakes (and shame potential) are much higher after a night at a frat or a bar.
To let everyone know that they’re not alone, here are some of the most ridiculous ANONYMOUS stories I’ve heard. But if you’re still feeling guilty after reading this, click here to learn how to regret your drunk eats less.
1. A booty call to Domino’s pizza
“We ordered 80$ worth of Domino’s to Branscomb and didn’t have enough money so someone who didn’t even order any had to take out money from the ATM for us to pay.”
“An entire Desano’s pizza… by myself.”
“Two of us went to Dunkin Donuts, ate 2 donuts each and then ordered Domino’s to Dunkin Donuts.”
2. Supersize me
“One time I ate Chik-Fil-A, 2 fried chicken fingers, a chicken wing, a bag of Fritos, a bag of Cheetos, a piece of sausage pizza, a Krispy Kreme and a carton of raspberries in one sitting.”
“We wanted to split a milkshake at Cookout and ended up ripping the cup in half.”
“I ate a cheeseburger, 2 orders of fries, a quesadilla, an order of chicken nuggets and a bag of Lays.”
3. (Drunk) cry me a river
“After a date party I called Jakes Bakes at midnight and left a crying voicemail because they were closed.”
“Came home from a party with two friends and got into a screaming fight with my dad because he refused to make us turkey burgers.”
4. I woke up like this
“Woke up and my bed was covered in crushed Goldfish.”
“Fell asleep eating white chocolate Hershey kisses and woke up with one in my underwear.”
“I came back into my room at 4am to find my roommate asleep in my bed holding a bag of Smartfood popcorn. There were crumbs everywhere.”
5. No ragrets
“8 pieces of toast.”
“Sprinted to PM sushi at midnight after a tailgate and the sushi bar was closed so I ate a bowl of squid.”
“On 4/20 I ate a frosted Krispy Kreme, a cheese stick, a bowl of pho, a bag of pretzels, 13 mini donuts, cheesecake, an entire order of Huevos Cubano, mac and cheese, a chocolate bar, almonds and a salted rice cake.”
“Came home on my birthday and ate half a Dairy Queen ice cream cake.”
6. Shut up and drive
“Over fall break a few of us split a $75 cab ride to go to Whataburger in another city in Alabama at 2am.”
“Made my friend drive me from Connecticut to New York on a Tuesday night to get Baked by Melissa.”
So whether you woke up with Lucky Charms or brown rice in your hair, or can’t even remember the taste of the three pieces of pizza and two donuts you inhaled, we’ve all been there. Chances are that in the moment every bite was worth that extra 5 minutes on the treadmill and if your friends aren’t enabling your drunk-eating, you’re hanging with the wrong crowd.
Want more anonymous drunk-eating stories? Check these out.