You walk into a pregame and before you lies the drink table — the possibilities are endless, but with great power comes great responsibility. The choices you make here will not only decide the fate of your night, but also say a lot about who you really are.
Burnett’s Vodka – Quantity > Quality
If your club of choice is THE club then you should probably invest in Burnett’s. Burnett’s is made for every college student willing to accept quantity over quality. We don’t hate you for choosing this drink — all of the flavors really leave you with an unlimited array of options. But, because you might be able to remove your nail polish with this liquid, it leaves us thinking you can definitely do better.
Tequila Shots – Life of the party
Or as my good friends like to say, “to kill ya.” Tequila shots are the recipe for a wild night. When you start ripping tequila shots, we’re all assuming you’re the life of the party — so don’t disappoint. Just be sure to bust a move, not bust your face. Oh, and for your own sake, please stay far away from your ex-boyfriend.
Natural Light – Total bro
You haven’t actually joined a fraternity if you haven’t had a Natty Light. These are often served lukewarm and taste like pee, but we can’t deny that drinking a Natty is #sobro. The only thing that can make this drink better (or worse) is properly performing a shot gun.
Smirnoff Ice – Girly, but not
Grey Goose – Snob
Slow down, hot shot. We know that daddy’s credit card paid for this one. Additionally, you totally brought this to the party because no rational host would ever provide this for the masses. We think you’re a little snobby, but that might just be the jealousy talking.
Wine – Future housewife
You’re on your way to becoming a housewife. Odds are that you are either going back home to watch a movie, gossiping with your gal pals, or trying to pair your drink with the perfect cheese. We get it, you’re trying to have a low-key night and we respect it, just make sure to share the cheese later.
Whiskey – Southern gentleman or old soul
Whether you’re drinking cheap whiskey or the classy stuff, we can easily fit you into two categories: the southern gentleman or the old soul. Boys, make sure your friend Richard stays far away from this one.
Rum – Beach bum
Is it spring break yet? Because you’re all about that tropical life. Rum can easily pair with fruit juices (or just Coke), so you can never go wrong with a touch of lime. This drink really reflects your life motto to “have it your way, but don’t get crazy.”
Hard Cider – Trendy
You’re trendy and health conscious. Hard cider tells us that you’re either looking to get in your daily fruit intake or you’re accepting it as the new popular gluten-free option for beer lovers who simply can’t drink beer. Overall, we admire the creativity.
Water – Schwasted
Go home, you’re drunk.