Ahh, St. Patrick’s Day AKA St. Patty’s AKA St. Paddy’s AKA an excuse to wear an insane amount of green and day drink. According to my research, there are seven lucky stages you’ll experience if you decide to celebrate in full swing, whether it is on the actual Thursday (March 17th) or over the weekend.
Cheers to you for braving the crowds of belligerent people and constant Irish folk music.
Stage 1: Plan your outfit, bar route and breakfast ahead of time
The week before you research the best bars and pubs and talk to as many friends as possible to figure out which places will be the most spirited. You know that a huge, sustaining breakfast will be your savior for the upcoming day of drinking and walking around. Once your knee high green socks and shamrock-laden shirt are on, it’s go-time.
Stage 2: The bartender in you mixes the most creative, festive drinks
Pinterest becomes the go-to spot for green Jell-o shots and recipes for other green cocktails. Odds are, you’ll finish the special drinks pretty fast and go back to your regular rum and coke before heading out for the day.
Stage 3: Time to rage
Whether it’s a house party or a bar crawl, this is the peak of the celebration. Green beer spills on your white Converse, but since you’re having a great time, does it really matter? Drinks are flowing and your breakfast is fully digested.
Stage 4: Put those social media skills to work by posting your bevy of drinks, tipsy selfies and Snapchats
Chances are, you’ll be glad those Snapchats will only last 24 hours. With Instagram and Facebook pictures, however, the luck of the Irish might not be with you. Although you may think your picture of mint cookies might be great, sobriety should also be a prerequisite for posting on Instagram.
Stage 5: Lost and not found
You spend half your time at the party looking for the friend who told you to stop by, and the other half debating whether to stay or leave. At this point, people have taken their pictures, phone batteries are dying, the alcohol is gone, and partygoers start leaving.
Stage 6. Drunk eating is the best eating
After bar hopping, your crew decides that drunchies are a great idea — and they are. Shamrock shake and fries anyone?
Stage 7: Napping or rallying
After an exhausting day of drinking, getting elbowed at the bar by a girl wearing a “Kiss me, I’m Irish” shirt and big crowds, it’s decision time. Will you go back home and curl up in bed, or have a Red Bull and some sugary treats and keep on partying?
Whether you drink or not, and regardless of how you celebrate, all I can hope for is that you’ve tested the luck of the Irish.
#SpoonTip: Drink responsibly!