We all have someone in our lives who could be categorized as “camera-happy”, a trait that has been revolutionized by the smartphone and made easier than ever to share by everyone’s favorite social media app: Instagram. It seems that you can’t scroll down your feed without coming into contact with photos of mouthwatering homemade or restaurant quality dishes.
Whether it’s a high school friend or a college classmate, we all follow at least one person who can’t resist filling up our feeds with #eeeeeats. However, not all social media-loving foodies are created equal. Here are the 5 main Instagram foodies that we can’t help but hate (out of jealousy, of course):
1. The Health Nut
When scrolling down your feed, do you find yourself stumbling across paragraphs of hashtags like #paleo, #rawtillfour or #glutenfree? Looks like you’ve got a Health Nut on your hands. Whether it’s chia seed pudding for breakfast or a green salad for lunch, you can always catch The Health Nut posting pictures of food that looks like it should be meant for rabbits. This guy or gal can always be caught gabbing about their latest superfood obsession on social media. Quinoa? All over it. Kale? Can’t get enough.
The only thing they care more about than their superhuman gut health is the amount of likes they get on their photo from Sweetgreen. However, the Health Nut is irresistible. Because as much as you may be annoyed by the consistent appearance of green smoothies on your newsfeed, The Health Nut may actually secretly inspire you get out of your comfort zone with a juice cleanse or pick up a new vegan stir-fry recipe.
2. The Destination Foodie
Dame Traveler @trisataro | Japan #dametravelerfoodie ? A photo posted by Feature #⃣ #dametravelerfoodie (@dametravelerfoodie) on Nov 16, 2015 at 5:18pm PST
As a constant jet-setter on the hunt for a great meal and an even better photograph, The Destination Foodie will stop at no travel expense to have the best #foodstragrams that the internet has ever seen. This could just mean scoping out NYC for the newest opening cold-pressed juice bar or could be as extreme as taking a semester abroad in Prague to make us all jealous with adorable foreign lattes.
Wherever they happen to be, they’re constantly making their followers envious with their ability to travel just for the love of food. Although The Destination Foodie may cause you to experience extreme jealousy as you try to imagine that the dining hall food in front of you is edible, don’t hit that “Unfollow” button just yet. Their feed can actually prove useful if you find yourself searching for the best burger in Baltimore or the hottest new cupcake joint in your home state.
3. The Bad Photographer
The Bad Photographer is the most easily identifiable Insta-foodie. It doesn’t matter if the Bad Photographer eats at the best restaurants in the city or simply stays home to cook, all of their #instafood comes out looking unappetizing and over-filtered. Whether the lighting is too dark, the sunlight too strong, or the angle too obscure, there is no denying that this foodie should have taken a photography class for their art credit freshman year.
We have to give this foodie credit, though. They don’t care if the picture comes out poorly or the about their “like” ratio. They have no shame. They’re just out to eat and have a good time. Respect.
4. The Junk Food Hero
?SUNDAY ?SUNDAE ?SUNDAE. ?Donut Sundaes with Ice Cream, Reese’s PB CUPS, Chocolate, and Sprinkles! #DonutsCookiesAndCream ?TAG YOUR FRIENDS!!!? A photo posted by Donuts, Cookies, and Cream (@donutscookiesandcream) on Nov 15, 2015 at 10:08pm PST
Ah, The Junk Food Hero. Mortal enemy of The Health Nut, and king or queen of crazy creations, such as the ice cream sandwich between two slutty brownies. Their feed is so plastered with photographs of delicious waffle fries and fat sandwiches that it makes you question when they have the time and energy to ingest all of this glorious food, because if this were you, you know you would be in a food coma 24/7.
You love them for the beautiful pictures of rainbow bagels with cake-batter cream cheese, but hate them for giving you cravings that can never be satisfied by your takeout salad. Alas, the Junk Food Hero is an insta-foodie that no one can live without, because who else is going to tell you about the next big trend in pizza? (Pepperoni-stuffed crust, anyone?)
5. The Drinks Only Foodie
Miami Vice in paradise ?❄️?? I’ll take two plez ?: @london_vaughn #miamivice #paradise #rivieramaya #drinksintheair A photo posted by Drinks in the Air (@drinksintheair) on Aug 11, 2015 at 4:35pm PDT
It’s hard to call this ferocious Instagrammer a “foodie”, because all they ever post are pictures of their drinks. Between Bloody Mary’s at brunch or margaritas at dinner, the Drinks Only Foodie seems to be fighting to maintain a constant buzz no matter where they go. I don’t think this is quite what Cosmopolitan meant when they suggested switching to a liquid diet.
Though The Drinks Only both confuses and scares you with their perceived alcohol intake, their high BAC and Instagram feed full of exotic new cocktails is what’s keeping you from making a fool of yourself at dinner by asking “What the hell is a Cucumber Collins?” Yeah, we’ve all been there.
6. The Ultra-Basic Foodie
chai, avo toast and my very useful (for uni), beloved kindle. not sure which of these 3 i love most ? happy weekend! i hope you’re having a wonderful day 🙂 A photo posted by Alison ❁ 19 (@crimeofrhyme) on Nov 15, 2015 at 6:50am PST
If you’ve ever scrolled down your Instagram feed and found 10 or more pictures of holiday Starbucks cups, you have a mob of Ultra-Basic Foodies on your hands. Though they are the most common of all Instagram foodies, the Ultra-Basic is one that sometimes blends into the background because their Instagram is also full of other basic stuff, like photos of sunsets and their SoulCycle studio.
The Ultra-Basic Foodie lives for Instagramming their food during eating-related holidays: the advent of Pumpkin Spice Latte season at Starbucks, free Slurpee day at 7/11, and National Donut Day at Dunkin. There truly is no limit to how basic they can be.
We hate and love the Ultra-Basic Foodie for the exact same reason: There’s a little bit of them in all of us. We’ve all been tempted to throw our coffee or spicy tuna rolls on Instagram. It’s a natural part of life. Carry on, Ultra-Basic Foodie.